Lied to by inanimate objects

Yesterday I was lied to by an inaminate object. In fact, it’s being lying to me for weeks. Shower Shine could be seen (nay, heard) mocking me as I scrubbed the mould off the bathroom tiles.

“Never scrub again!” the bottle exclaims in larger than necessary letters (although those with conjunctivitis would be grateful). Well I beg to differ. I’ve even tried adjusting the distance I spray the liquid from (like it would make a difference), although 18cm is pretty hard to judge without a tape measure.

And this may shock you, but it’s not the first time I’ve been lied to by a non-living entity.

Marketing people are, by their very nature, relaxed with the truth. From fake movie critics to the shaving foam that will banish razor burn forever, and the websites that will organise your life, we are constantly bombarded with claims of how wonderful/better/more efficient our life would be with this wonderful product. It’s has been a trademark of the shoddy and dishonest for many a long year, however with the advent of high-speed internet, e-mail spam and websites to flog a product, the snake-oil salesmen are having a field day. I include Shower Shine in that category, though if someone from the company wishes to come round and demonstrate that it actually does work they’re more than welcome. They can demonstrate the carpet stain remover whilst they’re at it (80cm spray distance that results in covering an area 6 times larger than you wish).

This poses a problem for some traditional marketeers – how to compete. Hence “Never scrub again!” sounds a lot more sexy than “Don’t scrub quite as often”. Recommendations welcome….

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