How to Stop Looking for Love and Embrace Yourself

Do you genuinely love yourself? How often do you tell yourself so? Ever wondered how to stop looking for love and embrace yourself?

Well, maybe we can start by defining what love is.

love sign/How to Stop Looking for Love

What is Love?

There are many definitions of love. Love is a strong feeling of deep affection for someone or something.

What Does Loving Yourself Mean?

You will show love to yourself when you can accept yourself despite your shortcomings. Loving yourself is the ability to understand and embrace you in all aspects of life. One of the ways you can know that you love yourself is by understanding your strengths and your weaknesses. When you love yourself you can celebrate your successes with contentment.

Why is it Difficult to Love You?

Many people expect to receive love from others and that’s why they may find it hard to love themselves. In the long run, they end up hurt when these expectations are not met. There will be high tendencies of feeling unloved and not cared for. This feeling occupies their mind and makes them think they don’t deserve to be loved.

One of the reasons why one will feel unloved is due to past experiences. Some experiences such as breakups may influence how you love yourself. Other things such as insecurities may make you feel unworthy of love.

Why Do We Look for Love?

It is in the human’s DNA to relate with others. Being able to connect and communicate with others brings fulfillment in our lives. This is because we want to share our life experiences with the people around us. Though we cannot communicate with everyone, there are specific people we do life with. We have siblings, parents, boyfriend’s, spouses that we share our lives with. We will confide in them everything we face in life.

It is important to love and to feel loved. This is because it brings a sense of belonging which makes our lives purposeful. At the same time as we look for love, some of us look for it in the wrong places. This is because they have issues with their identity. When your identity is destroyed you will always look for love for acceptance.

What is The Meaning of Identity?

Identity by definition can be said to be the ability to understand who you are and what you are created for. We can also say, how you think of yourself is about understanding your identity.

Many people are struggling with identity issues and this has led them to seek it elsewhere. One of the areas where people try to find their identity is from relationships. You will look for identity in other people for acceptance, embrace, and love. Some people will love themselves when they are loved by others.

This can be very difficult because even the people that are so close to us sometimes hurt us and we feel unloved. We get into arguments and fights with the same people we want to receive love from.

Loving yourself before expecting it from others is very important because you will save yourself from expectations.

How Do You Stop Looking for Love and Embrace Yourself?

Did you know that you are created uniquely? There’s no one like you on this earth. You may have look-alikes but you are the only one that looks like you in the world. It is important to know this because you will carry yourself with a lot of care and love. Look at yourself in the mirror and say beautiful things concerning your life. This is one of the steps you can take to love and embrace yourself as you are.

 Many times we hate ourselves because of what we have gone through and the challenges we are experiencing. Yes, there are indeed challenges and difficult experiences in life but we cannot change some of these things. We must accept them and change what we can and whatever we cannot to leave them. Our lives are a conglomeration of both good and bad experiences but we should not focus entirely on the negative sides. We should be able to embrace every part and parcel of our lives.

How to stop looking for love and embracing ourselves is one of the best rewards you can give yourself. This is because you will reap the benefits of doing so.

We shall discuss various ways on how to stop looking for love and embrace yourself.

love sign post

Ways to Stop Looking for Love and Embrace Yourself

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is the road to loving yourself again. There are mistakes you may have committed in the past that make you hate yourself because they bring bad memories. Past experiences may affect how you love and you perceive yourself. When you remember some things you have done you may feel like the worst person on earth. This is due to the guilt and shame you carry with you. The fact that you are feeling this way shows that you admit that you made mistakes.

Being able to meticulously deal with your past experiences will help you to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a healing process and it may take some time. Be intentional about the process and know how to handle yourself through it. If its people that hurt you must consider asking for forgiveness from them. You can also consider writing yourself an apology letter especially for people who relieve themselves through writing.

From forgiving yourself, it is important to ensure you learn from your mistakes. This way you will be able to live a life free from guilt and shame. You will then be able to love and brace yourself.

Distance Yourself from People Who Look Down on You

Most of us tend to stay in hurtful relationships. The reason why people will still stay in such relationships is by believing that, that is the only place they can find love. This is disrespectful to yourself and abuse at the same time. You’re not doing yourself any favor when you stay in such kind of relationships that are not giving you fulfillment and love.

These relationships make you doubt who you are and whether you deserve a good life. You must shun away from these kinds of people because they will always put you down. They will always make you feel unwanted when you deserve all the love in the world. It is important to stand on your feet and put to an end these of relationships and put your life together.

When you distance yourself from people who look down on you, you will start to embrace who you are and love yourself all over again. When you love yourself you will know your worth and people’s opinion will not dictate what you think about yourself.

Love and Accommodate Others

Have you noticed that people who love themselves are always appreciative?  Consider doing this study. You will find out people who always affirm others concerning something know and love themselves. Some people cannot say anything good concerning others. This is one of the ways you can tell that these people don’t love themselves enough.

When you love yourself it will automatically show on how you talk to other people, how you embrace them and accommodate them in your life. Being able to say you look nice, you are beautiful, you sang well today to people will show that you love others and you would want them to know how you feel about them. Whatever you feed yourself will be the same thing that will come out of your mouth.

When you see people complaining about everything in life know there is a problem concerning their identity and how they love themselves. They will be angry with everyone and find it difficult to accommodate people. I will agree with the saying, “garbage in garbage out” because it describes how our lives are. It is important to feed yourself with positive things because you will be able to perceive and embrace others in the right way. Look at your life and see how you have been interacting with others. This will give you information on how you perceive yourself

Believe in Yourself

How many times have you doubted your capabilities? Many times we wait for people to tell us what we are capable of doing. This is ok but to some extent, we may delay our destinies waiting for people to cheer us. You don’t have to wait for others to tell you what you can do. When you believe in yourself it shows a sense of love and the fact that you can trust your steps. When you believe you can you will embrace who you are.

a love doll

Take time and read through and consider researching other ways you can’t stop looking for love and embracing yourself. Take time and reflect on your life to see areas that bring the notion of looking for love. Find ways to help you deal with these areas so that you can find satisfaction in loving you.

Choose to love yourself today because it is the only way to keep you going in this life without expectations from others.

How to Be Talkative in Everyday Life When You’re Shy

Did you know that out of 10, 4 people consider themselves shy? Shyness is both inherent and can be attained through the environment you interact with daily. If you are shy it is not the end of the road because you can be able to overcome this trait. Shyness is predominant in people who have low self-esteem.

how to be talkative/ friends talking

Why Are Some People Shy?

Different people will be shy because of different reasons. For example, a person can be shy because of their introverted temperament. Some people love their space and most of the time you won’t find them interacting with others. A common thing to find in these people is that they talk less with others. This leads them to be shy.

Another reason why some people may shy away from talking is when they don’t know how to react to situations at hand. For example, if there is a crowd that is paying attention to the person most likely they will not know how to act.

When you come into contact with a new environment you may shy away from talking. For example your first encounter in school, you may have found it difficult to talk with others. Meeting new people can lead to being shy and avoid talking.

People who have allowed fear to invade their minds and thoughts can also become shy when it comes to talking to people. When you allow negative thoughts to invade your mind you will always be worried about what say about you. You will also think of how others will perceive you when you talk and this may draw back your conversations.

Importance of Talking

How to be talkative in everyday life is very important because you can express your emotions and your views concerning things freely. Being able to talk with others improves our mental health and well-being. When you talk with other people you build trust and confidence with them which makes you comfortable around them.

Talking with others helps you find solutions to the problems that you may be having and this can help you a long way. Talking to others is also a therapy proven for reducing stress and anxiety.

In this guide, we will show you techniques of how to be talkative in everyday life when you are shy.

Techniques on How to Talk When You Are Shy

Prepare a Conversation Starter

When you are meeting new people or you are in a new environment it can be difficult to start a conversation especially when you are a shy person. You will find yourself avoiding people so that you don’t find yourself in a position where you have to talk.

 When you are attending an event it is important to consider taking the time and prepare a conversation starter. This way you will be ready to communicate with anyone you meet. Understanding the event and what all is about is very important because you will know the kinds of conversation starters to prepare. For example, if you’re going to a wedding you can consider complimenting people about the dressing. When you do this you will be able to build up a conversation with the person you are talking to.

Use Open-Ended Questions

 When you understand you are a shy person you should consider using open-ended questions while conversing with other people. This kind of conversation will allow the other person to talk and also expound on the answers they give. It is important to know what to ask so that you can be relevant to an individual. You can consider asking how the person is doing and you will get to know more about them from such a question. You will be comfortable in this position to talk and share your perspective concerning the conversation.

three ladies and a man

Smile

Smiling is another way to help you to keep the conversation going. A smile shows that you are welcoming. Nobody wants to converse with a person who is angry and unhappy. When you smile you are opening a room for people to come and converse with you. This means you don’t have to approach people because smiling makes you approachable and anyone can be able to talk to you easily. Smiling will do some magic on your behalf in conversations. This is because it is a body language that everyone can be able to see and perceive whether you are interested in conversations or not.

Be a Good Listener

You will find that talkative people will always want to take the lead when it comes to talking. Remember in an event there will always be conversations from one end to the other. It is up to you to find out conversations that interest you and consider listening to them.

Being a good listener will help you think through concerning what is being talked about. From there you can be able to pick up things in your life or your experiences that you can add up to contribute to the conversations. You can also consider commenting using phrases if you have nothing to talk about. For example, you can use phrases like “That’s right!”

Practice What You Are Going To Say

This may make you look silly to people who are easy going and can talk to anyone. Practicing what you are going to say is one of the ways to get you to talk when you are a shy person. Consider writing down what you are going to say and then practice. What you write down will depend on where you are going. For example, if you are going to school your conversations will be about studies, exams, teachers and many other things which will be different when you are going to a party.

You can consider using a mirror or your sibling as you practice. Watch your body language and your tonal variation because this matters a lot. Practicing is important because it will help you to gain confidence and trust yourself when talking.

Consider Small Talks

When you have small talks with people you are able to know whether you are both on the same page. You will be able to know the interest of the other person and know whether you can sail with them in a conversation. You can ask a few questions and see their reactions as they talk to you.

Remember Past Conversation

Remembering past conversations is very important because you can follow up on something you talked about. Sometimes it can be hard to talk to people you already know due to one reason or another. When you have something you can recall concerning them you can consider asking them questions on how things have been. This way you will not have awkward moments with a person and you will pick up from where you left.

Concentrate on the Other Person

One of the reasons why an individual will be shy and avoid talking is when they start focusing on themselves. Most of the time, people will worry about what you are expected to say, how others will perceive you, and how you supposed to react to situations. This will make you have pressure while you are in an event and make you not enjoy the moment.

 Instead of focusing on yourself so much, you can consider focusing on other people. See how they are conversing with others from how your body language to their facial expression. Be involved in their conversations so that you can be able to interject in the conversation in the best way to relate.

Talk about Something You Know

 We fail in conversations when we talk about things we don’t have facts on. This way you will leave your conversations halfway because you don’t have anything left to say. It is important to consider what you are going to talk about so that you have what you need to know concerning the topic. This way you will be able to talk confidently concerning the topic at hand. If you do not have anything to say about a topic you can consider interjecting by using phrases such as, “you are right!”

Give Elaborate Answers

 Shy people tend to answer questions through yes or no format. This kind of answer may put off the person conversing with you and get to talk with others. Being able to give elaborate responses will be able to take your conversation a notch higher. Consider sharing as much as you can concerning the topics being talked about. This way you will create room for conversation.

s woman on a phone

Talk about Things around You

When starting a conversation you can talk about the environment you are at. For example, you can give compliments on how the decor looks or how the chairs have been arranged. This way you are starting up a conversation that may end up creating more stories. Do not shy away from feeling awkward or irrelevant.

When you consider these techniques you will be able to talk with confidence and in comfort without shying away. Remember it requires you to take the initiative to overcome your shyness.

How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business in a Kind Way

Wondering how to tell someone to mind their own business? Most of the time, those people who try to look into our lives are probably the closest people we have. They may be extended family, related members like a second cousin, or just our close friends. Getting them off your back can be quite a hustle since you do not want to break their heart at the end.

a woman blocking her ears

 Most of the relationships formed breaks too quickly because of us acting too soon on our feelings, which leads to a lifetime of regret and sometimes depression since you end up pushing away those people who were only trying to help. Who would you lose in a lifetime just because of not finding the right words to tell them to back off? Breaking ties that only comes once in a lifetime just because they care too much, it becomes annoying.  

Do you want to tell your siblings and nosy mother who is always snooping around your messages that it is not in their place to know everything in your life? Here are ways to tell someone to mind their own business in a good way.

Being Polite with an I am kind, Thanks

Sometimes we can exceptionally be blunt with things. If a coworker wants to know what you are up to, the first thing you will probably ask him/her is, ‘why do you want to know? Or why do you need to know? Of course, they always respond like ‘ I want to know what you are up to.’ 

The thing here is that the words I am good, give them a hint you are telling them to back off a little. Most people do not try etiquette to get them out of such situations, and that might be the problem. A protocol is the mother of speech, and without it, you get to lose your relationship. Next time you choose to be blunt, think of how long that relationship has gone for. Ask yourself if you just want to throw all that away.

Any time you think of rushing off at a coworker who is too nosy for their good, remember etiquette can quickly get their nose of your business. All you need is to stay calm and use respectful words. 

“I would Prefer not to Discuss that If you do not Mind” 

If they do not get that subtlety when using polite words, then you might want to turn the tables and drop a slight hint to them. There are those kinds of people who say everyone is entitled to their opinion but do not want anyone to look back at them. It will shut them up quickly and no hard feelings.

You have to establish boundaries because it is needed to let everyone know that they cannot just walk over you. You should not go on and tolerate something that you do not think is right. If they are adults, then they should know better than to be so intrusive. That is not polite.

It is hard to stop gossip and can turn it into a drama involving many people. You could try silence about the matter for as long as possible to let the issue pass. You know the truth, and that is what matters. You have to stick to your ground and show everyone that it is finally. Being assertive about such things, it matters because people get to respect your decision. With respect comes a way to stop people from sniffing into your business all the time, respect.

Thanks for Asking, I Appreciate your Concern, But I Got this

We grow up doing what we are told to do in life. We are always being told what we are doing wrong and seldom what we are doing right. You know your friends and family better, so your response should be weighed on that. If it is a close friend that you care about, they, of course, do not mean to be rude. You have to show them that you know they are doing it for you.

When telling them to keep off, you need to put their feelings too into consideration, knowing most of them just do this to make sure you are all right. Kicking them in the back with a rude comment may only hurt both your feelings at the end. You do not want to be left by the only people who care about you sitting in a lonely place with ten cats wondering where it went all wrong. Do not be the mistake in your life; instead, appreciate the people and show that you are fine.

“I Appreciate your Interest, but I Prefer to Handle it my way”

Spouses may try to get into your business by looking into who you meet and talk to. It becomes annoying because they might try to be taking your freedom away from you. Most of the time, it can always be a simple act of jealousy that causes them to snoop into your business. You have to remember that this is your life partner; you do not need to say something that may jeopardize your relationship.

a man talking to another/How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business

Try to put on the brakes early. You might thank them for their concern but assure them that you have the situation well in hand. You might respond with, “You know, I appreciate your desire to help me. Make sure it does not seem like you are hiding anything. It is just that you want your space. It only takes one wrong move to destroy a more than a year-long relationship.

“I want to try it my way but, if I need help, I know just where to turn”

Is everyone trying to tell you how to run your home? How to arrange the furniture in your sitting area? Trying to get you to discipline your kids the way they teach theirs or how they have seen kids punished before? Telling you about how your spouse or fiancé is not good and you deserve better? Let us not ignore that they may mean well.

They may have experience of similar behavior with their fiancé or kids. Do not worry about pushing them away in just a few words. Some things are a matter of trial and error. You can just let them know that you are doing it in some other way. If your method does not work, you are going to try theirs.

Whenever anyone is going on about your life and your marriage life, remember it is your life, and no matter how people try to control your choices, you will end up with the mistakes. Make decisions that assure you that you will not regret it. Do not give them a chance to say something like I told you so. Give their words heed but also a boundary. They may try to control you without you knowing.

“I will Keep that in Mind”

Sometimes you might find yourself late for a life event like marriage or having kids in your life. It is not your fault. You might have even given up on it, but your family and friends will not let you be. They will keep reminding you about it at any gathering. A wedding or a funeral. Mostly Aunts have a way of saying it like “look at that young man/woman, and he/she is single.” Some of them might even suggest a good clinic doctor down the street. 

I will keep that in mind and tell them that yes, I heard, and I will think about it. It also hints that they are crossing a line over there. So I do not know what you are trying to say but stop, it is my life, and I make my own decisions.

I think that’s My Business, Don’t you?

Remember that making excuses is not a way to tell them off; it is just a way to encourage them to get into your business more. Gone are the days when you need to explain to everyone what you want to do, especially mothers in law. They are a big part of your life, and to welcome you; they need to know everything you do and how you run your relationships and, at times, control you. 

At times you have to tell them that it is not the ’60s anymore, and it is your business and not theirs. Prove to them you are stable enough, and they do not get into your issues to make you good enough. But always do it with a smile and a way to show them you are not trying to be rude in any way.

two women talking

Conclusion How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business

Getting people to buzz off is painful and scary.  It could ruin your relationships or enable you to earn respect; it all depends on how you handle it. I am sure you are not planning to drive away everyone who cares about you. Here are some of the best ways to keep your relationships healthier by keeping it classically simple, straightforward, and respectful. With this, you save more than just time to explain yourself.

How to Stop Being a Recluse in a Healthy way

Most people find it daunting to transition from being a recluse to living a social life. If they do, they do it in an unhealthy way. The good news is that there are several techniques on how to stop being a recluse without causing any more trouble.

For one to be sequestered, there must be some cause or reasons. Among the reasons making people be cloistered include mystical religious outlook, hiding away as a result of criminal acts, survival by self-sufficiency, and personal philosophy. We are all social beings, and it may be challenging to be withdrawn from the rest.

a person sitting alone

In this article, we shall enlighten you on some of the healthy ways to stop being a recluse. Continue reading to find out more.

Identify the Reasons Why You Are a Recluse

There must be something that drove you to live a secluded life. The first step to stop being a recluse is to find out what made you the person you are. Some things make people seclude themselves from the world and society. 

If, for example, you are reclusive to avoid paying for a crime you committed, then it will be wrong to continue living that secluded life. If you are secluded because of religious reasons, then it will be hard to stop. Imagine you have been a hermit for years, and one day you just change the whole story? How will people view you? We are not saying you can’t stop being a hermit, but the process will be challenging.

Other causes of reclusion include posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, intellectual disability, autism, apathy, social anxiety disorder, and many more.

Find a Job in a Public Place

Working alone may be the leading cause of you being a hermit. What if you can work with others? Find any job that involves many people. You can’t work with people from morning to evening and expect to go home in the same way you came. 

Also, keep changing your working locations. You might find different experiences when working in different environments. You will get a chance to meet new people and exchange different ideas. You will see the need to be around people than being alone. 

Make Use of Technology

While it may be easy to be a recluse, it is hard to live without technology. Life will be difficult for you when you choose to be a recluse without any whereabouts of technology. Through technology, the world has been made a global village.

Even if you want to stay secluded from society and the public at large, you still need to be informed of what is happening in those environments. Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter are the best when it comes to living a reclusive life. With social media, you might find new people, new friends that aren’t from your society. You might organize a meeting with someone you met online. 

Spend SomeTime With Your Relatives

Relatives are the closest people that can quickly help you overcome the challenge of being a recluse. Find time for them. Speak to them more often. Have dinner together. Listen to their stories, even if you won’t utter a word. 

Slowly by slowly, you will find yourself taking part in their conversations.  You will love the idea of having dinner together rather than alone in your room. You will see how happy it feels to be around people.

Make Some Friends

Finding friends may be challenging, especially if you are an introvert, as well as a recluse. You may start by making friends from your relative’s friends. How is this possible? Let’s take an example of your cousin’s friend visiting him/her. You will have an opportunity to meet and interact with them. Exchange contacts, if necessary. 

Another alternative to making friends is through social media services. A true friend will never give you time to be a recluse. They are always checking on you, calling you, having those chats, going out, how will you seclude yourself from all these activities?

The idea here is to be in very close proximity to others. 

Relocate From Your Apartment

The reason you may be living a reclusive life maybe you don’t have close neighbors, or you hate your village people. Other than being alone and secluding yourself from those people, the best option may be to relocate and find a new home. 

You will have a chance to start a new life away from your past and your society. If you are a misanthrope and have difficulty tolerating human society, you might seek refuge at another place. 

Your new neighbors might be the solution to your problem. 

Identify and Explore Your Talents

Among the ways to make connections with people is by identifying your talents and exploring them. If you have a football talent, go out on the streets and find a football team. Join the group and start making friends. You will avoid being a hermit not because of the team but because of your talent. 

While exploring your talent, you will have a chance to meet very many people. Many will ask you to know your place so that they can visit you someday. Give them your address. Make your home know by many people.

If you are a talented musician, join a local music club. It will feel nervous, especially for the first time, but you will overcome it once you break your silence. You will love spending time with other people of different talents. You will learn more things from other people. You can’t explore your ability when you are a hermit. It is challenging to play and enjoy football on your own. You need some company. You need a team with similar interests as yours.

Control Your Emotions

Your emotions could be the leading cause of you being a recluse. If you don’t work on your emotions, you are likely to live a reclusive life forever. It is hard to live with human beings when you are too emotional. We all have feelings, but the difference is how you handle them. 

Immediately after triggering negative feelings, you are likely to make harsh decisions that may affect you for the rest of your life.  Some people decide to become reclusive because they have been wronged by someone from their family. They do not realize that they are the victims and are more affected.

If you learn to control your emotions, you will never find any other reason to be reclusive. Among the ways to control your emotions is to avoid reacting right away. Also, avoid the things that trigger your feelings. 

Avoid Online Shopping

Today you can make an order online, and it is delivered to you right at your doorstep. While it is helpful, it may encourage you to live a reclusive life. You won’t find time to go shopping at the supermarket or shops. This, however, does not mean you should avoid online shopping altogether. The point here is you should try to balance between online shopping and the use of brick and mortar shopping. 

Take a walk on the streets. Go for window shopping even if you do not have money to buy something.  Go and fit in those clothes before you decide to buy them. You are likely to interact with the salespersons while shopping for your products. You will see the need to live a social life with other people.

This is unlike online shopping, where you have little or no interaction with humans. It makes you think that you don’t need people.

Travel 

Traveling to places you’ve never gone to might help you to stop being a recluse. You will get to enjoy your experiences and meet a lot of people. You will learn to interact with people from different countries, even when you don’t speak the same language.

a man holding his head

Seek Professional Support

Overcoming psychological factors such as emotional trauma, autism, schizotypal personality disorder, among others, may be difficult for you. They might be the main reason why you are a recluse. If you don’t find a solution to these problems, you will remain to be a recluse forever.

Therapists are the best people to go to whenever you are faced with such challenges. They will make you remove all the pain and bitterness from your heart. They will give you advice on how to live with other people. They will make you see the importance of living a social life. They can read your mind and offer you the best solution.

How to Stop Being a Recluse in a Healthy way?

Living a reclusive life is very difficult and challenging. We all need each other for survival. That’s why we were created and placed on earth. Why conclude on living alone? Why cut all communications with people? Why seclude yourself from your society? Why become a recluse? 

If you are still a recluse, then you have no idea what you are missing. There are a lot of experiences out there that can only be enjoyed by someone living a social life. Stop being a hermit.