How to Stop Looking for Love and Embrace Yourself

Do you genuinely love yourself? How often do you tell yourself so? Ever wondered how to stop looking for love and embrace yourself?

Well, maybe we can start by defining what love is.

love sign/How to Stop Looking for Love

What is Love?

There are many definitions of love. Love is a strong feeling of deep affection for someone or something.

What Does Loving Yourself Mean?

You will show love to yourself when you can accept yourself despite your shortcomings. Loving yourself is the ability to understand and embrace you in all aspects of life. One of the ways you can know that you love yourself is by understanding your strengths and your weaknesses. When you love yourself you can celebrate your successes with contentment.

Why is it Difficult to Love You?

Many people expect to receive love from others and that’s why they may find it hard to love themselves. In the long run, they end up hurt when these expectations are not met. There will be high tendencies of feeling unloved and not cared for. This feeling occupies their mind and makes them think they don’t deserve to be loved.

One of the reasons why one will feel unloved is due to past experiences. Some experiences such as breakups may influence how you love yourself. Other things such as insecurities may make you feel unworthy of love.

Why Do We Look for Love?

It is in the human’s DNA to relate with others. Being able to connect and communicate with others brings fulfillment in our lives. This is because we want to share our life experiences with the people around us. Though we cannot communicate with everyone, there are specific people we do life with. We have siblings, parents, boyfriend’s, spouses that we share our lives with. We will confide in them everything we face in life.

It is important to love and to feel loved. This is because it brings a sense of belonging which makes our lives purposeful. At the same time as we look for love, some of us look for it in the wrong places. This is because they have issues with their identity. When your identity is destroyed you will always look for love for acceptance.

What is The Meaning of Identity?

Identity by definition can be said to be the ability to understand who you are and what you are created for. We can also say, how you think of yourself is about understanding your identity.

Many people are struggling with identity issues and this has led them to seek it elsewhere. One of the areas where people try to find their identity is from relationships. You will look for identity in other people for acceptance, embrace, and love. Some people will love themselves when they are loved by others.

This can be very difficult because even the people that are so close to us sometimes hurt us and we feel unloved. We get into arguments and fights with the same people we want to receive love from.

Loving yourself before expecting it from others is very important because you will save yourself from expectations.

How Do You Stop Looking for Love and Embrace Yourself?

Did you know that you are created uniquely? There’s no one like you on this earth. You may have look-alikes but you are the only one that looks like you in the world. It is important to know this because you will carry yourself with a lot of care and love. Look at yourself in the mirror and say beautiful things concerning your life. This is one of the steps you can take to love and embrace yourself as you are.

 Many times we hate ourselves because of what we have gone through and the challenges we are experiencing. Yes, there are indeed challenges and difficult experiences in life but we cannot change some of these things. We must accept them and change what we can and whatever we cannot to leave them. Our lives are a conglomeration of both good and bad experiences but we should not focus entirely on the negative sides. We should be able to embrace every part and parcel of our lives.

How to stop looking for love and embracing ourselves is one of the best rewards you can give yourself. This is because you will reap the benefits of doing so.

We shall discuss various ways on how to stop looking for love and embrace yourself.

love sign post

Ways to Stop Looking for Love and Embrace Yourself

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is the road to loving yourself again. There are mistakes you may have committed in the past that make you hate yourself because they bring bad memories. Past experiences may affect how you love and you perceive yourself. When you remember some things you have done you may feel like the worst person on earth. This is due to the guilt and shame you carry with you. The fact that you are feeling this way shows that you admit that you made mistakes.

Being able to meticulously deal with your past experiences will help you to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a healing process and it may take some time. Be intentional about the process and know how to handle yourself through it. If its people that hurt you must consider asking for forgiveness from them. You can also consider writing yourself an apology letter especially for people who relieve themselves through writing.

From forgiving yourself, it is important to ensure you learn from your mistakes. This way you will be able to live a life free from guilt and shame. You will then be able to love and brace yourself.

Distance Yourself from People Who Look Down on You

Most of us tend to stay in hurtful relationships. The reason why people will still stay in such relationships is by believing that, that is the only place they can find love. This is disrespectful to yourself and abuse at the same time. You’re not doing yourself any favor when you stay in such kind of relationships that are not giving you fulfillment and love.

These relationships make you doubt who you are and whether you deserve a good life. You must shun away from these kinds of people because they will always put you down. They will always make you feel unwanted when you deserve all the love in the world. It is important to stand on your feet and put to an end these of relationships and put your life together.

When you distance yourself from people who look down on you, you will start to embrace who you are and love yourself all over again. When you love yourself you will know your worth and people’s opinion will not dictate what you think about yourself.

Love and Accommodate Others

Have you noticed that people who love themselves are always appreciative?  Consider doing this study. You will find out people who always affirm others concerning something know and love themselves. Some people cannot say anything good concerning others. This is one of the ways you can tell that these people don’t love themselves enough.

When you love yourself it will automatically show on how you talk to other people, how you embrace them and accommodate them in your life. Being able to say you look nice, you are beautiful, you sang well today to people will show that you love others and you would want them to know how you feel about them. Whatever you feed yourself will be the same thing that will come out of your mouth.

When you see people complaining about everything in life know there is a problem concerning their identity and how they love themselves. They will be angry with everyone and find it difficult to accommodate people. I will agree with the saying, “garbage in garbage out” because it describes how our lives are. It is important to feed yourself with positive things because you will be able to perceive and embrace others in the right way. Look at your life and see how you have been interacting with others. This will give you information on how you perceive yourself

Believe in Yourself

How many times have you doubted your capabilities? Many times we wait for people to tell us what we are capable of doing. This is ok but to some extent, we may delay our destinies waiting for people to cheer us. You don’t have to wait for others to tell you what you can do. When you believe in yourself it shows a sense of love and the fact that you can trust your steps. When you believe you can you will embrace who you are.

a love doll

Take time and read through and consider researching other ways you can’t stop looking for love and embracing yourself. Take time and reflect on your life to see areas that bring the notion of looking for love. Find ways to help you deal with these areas so that you can find satisfaction in loving you.

Choose to love yourself today because it is the only way to keep you going in this life without expectations from others.

How to Be Talkative in Everyday Life When You’re Shy

Did you know that out of 10, 4 people consider themselves shy? Shyness is both inherent and can be attained through the environment you interact with daily. If you are shy it is not the end of the road because you can be able to overcome this trait. Shyness is predominant in people who have low self-esteem.

how to be talkative/ friends talking

Why Are Some People Shy?

Different people will be shy because of different reasons. For example, a person can be shy because of their introverted temperament. Some people love their space and most of the time you won’t find them interacting with others. A common thing to find in these people is that they talk less with others. This leads them to be shy.

Another reason why some people may shy away from talking is when they don’t know how to react to situations at hand. For example, if there is a crowd that is paying attention to the person most likely they will not know how to act.

When you come into contact with a new environment you may shy away from talking. For example your first encounter in school, you may have found it difficult to talk with others. Meeting new people can lead to being shy and avoid talking.

People who have allowed fear to invade their minds and thoughts can also become shy when it comes to talking to people. When you allow negative thoughts to invade your mind you will always be worried about what say about you. You will also think of how others will perceive you when you talk and this may draw back your conversations.

Importance of Talking

How to be talkative in everyday life is very important because you can express your emotions and your views concerning things freely. Being able to talk with others improves our mental health and well-being. When you talk with other people you build trust and confidence with them which makes you comfortable around them.

Talking with others helps you find solutions to the problems that you may be having and this can help you a long way. Talking to others is also a therapy proven for reducing stress and anxiety.

In this guide, we will show you techniques of how to be talkative in everyday life when you are shy.

Techniques on How to Talk When You Are Shy

Prepare a Conversation Starter

When you are meeting new people or you are in a new environment it can be difficult to start a conversation especially when you are a shy person. You will find yourself avoiding people so that you don’t find yourself in a position where you have to talk.

 When you are attending an event it is important to consider taking the time and prepare a conversation starter. This way you will be ready to communicate with anyone you meet. Understanding the event and what all is about is very important because you will know the kinds of conversation starters to prepare. For example, if you’re going to a wedding you can consider complimenting people about the dressing. When you do this you will be able to build up a conversation with the person you are talking to.

Use Open-Ended Questions

 When you understand you are a shy person you should consider using open-ended questions while conversing with other people. This kind of conversation will allow the other person to talk and also expound on the answers they give. It is important to know what to ask so that you can be relevant to an individual. You can consider asking how the person is doing and you will get to know more about them from such a question. You will be comfortable in this position to talk and share your perspective concerning the conversation.

three ladies and a man


Smiling is another way to help you to keep the conversation going. A smile shows that you are welcoming. Nobody wants to converse with a person who is angry and unhappy. When you smile you are opening a room for people to come and converse with you. This means you don’t have to approach people because smiling makes you approachable and anyone can be able to talk to you easily. Smiling will do some magic on your behalf in conversations. This is because it is a body language that everyone can be able to see and perceive whether you are interested in conversations or not.

Be a Good Listener

You will find that talkative people will always want to take the lead when it comes to talking. Remember in an event there will always be conversations from one end to the other. It is up to you to find out conversations that interest you and consider listening to them.

Being a good listener will help you think through concerning what is being talked about. From there you can be able to pick up things in your life or your experiences that you can add up to contribute to the conversations. You can also consider commenting using phrases if you have nothing to talk about. For example, you can use phrases like “That’s right!”

Practice What You Are Going To Say

This may make you look silly to people who are easy going and can talk to anyone. Practicing what you are going to say is one of the ways to get you to talk when you are a shy person. Consider writing down what you are going to say and then practice. What you write down will depend on where you are going. For example, if you are going to school your conversations will be about studies, exams, teachers and many other things which will be different when you are going to a party.

You can consider using a mirror or your sibling as you practice. Watch your body language and your tonal variation because this matters a lot. Practicing is important because it will help you to gain confidence and trust yourself when talking.

Consider Small Talks

When you have small talks with people you are able to know whether you are both on the same page. You will be able to know the interest of the other person and know whether you can sail with them in a conversation. You can ask a few questions and see their reactions as they talk to you.

Remember Past Conversation

Remembering past conversations is very important because you can follow up on something you talked about. Sometimes it can be hard to talk to people you already know due to one reason or another. When you have something you can recall concerning them you can consider asking them questions on how things have been. This way you will not have awkward moments with a person and you will pick up from where you left.

Concentrate on the Other Person

One of the reasons why an individual will be shy and avoid talking is when they start focusing on themselves. Most of the time, people will worry about what you are expected to say, how others will perceive you, and how you supposed to react to situations. This will make you have pressure while you are in an event and make you not enjoy the moment.

 Instead of focusing on yourself so much, you can consider focusing on other people. See how they are conversing with others from how your body language to their facial expression. Be involved in their conversations so that you can be able to interject in the conversation in the best way to relate.

Talk about Something You Know

 We fail in conversations when we talk about things we don’t have facts on. This way you will leave your conversations halfway because you don’t have anything left to say. It is important to consider what you are going to talk about so that you have what you need to know concerning the topic. This way you will be able to talk confidently concerning the topic at hand. If you do not have anything to say about a topic you can consider interjecting by using phrases such as, “you are right!”

Give Elaborate Answers

 Shy people tend to answer questions through yes or no format. This kind of answer may put off the person conversing with you and get to talk with others. Being able to give elaborate responses will be able to take your conversation a notch higher. Consider sharing as much as you can concerning the topics being talked about. This way you will create room for conversation.

s woman on a phone

Talk about Things around You

When starting a conversation you can talk about the environment you are at. For example, you can give compliments on how the decor looks or how the chairs have been arranged. This way you are starting up a conversation that may end up creating more stories. Do not shy away from feeling awkward or irrelevant.

When you consider these techniques you will be able to talk with confidence and in comfort without shying away. Remember it requires you to take the initiative to overcome your shyness.

How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business in a Kind Way

Wondering how to tell someone to mind their own business? Most of the time, those people who try to look into our lives are probably the closest people we have. They may be extended family, related members like a second cousin, or just our close friends. Getting them off your back can be quite a hustle since you do not want to break their heart at the end.

a woman blocking her ears

 Most of the relationships formed breaks too quickly because of us acting too soon on our feelings, which leads to a lifetime of regret and sometimes depression since you end up pushing away those people who were only trying to help. Who would you lose in a lifetime just because of not finding the right words to tell them to back off? Breaking ties that only comes once in a lifetime just because they care too much, it becomes annoying.  

Do you want to tell your siblings and nosy mother who is always snooping around your messages that it is not in their place to know everything in your life? Here are ways to tell someone to mind their own business in a good way.

Being Polite with an I am kind, Thanks

Sometimes we can exceptionally be blunt with things. If a coworker wants to know what you are up to, the first thing you will probably ask him/her is, ‘why do you want to know? Or why do you need to know? Of course, they always respond like ‘ I want to know what you are up to.’ 

The thing here is that the words I am good, give them a hint you are telling them to back off a little. Most people do not try etiquette to get them out of such situations, and that might be the problem. A protocol is the mother of speech, and without it, you get to lose your relationship. Next time you choose to be blunt, think of how long that relationship has gone for. Ask yourself if you just want to throw all that away.

Any time you think of rushing off at a coworker who is too nosy for their good, remember etiquette can quickly get their nose of your business. All you need is to stay calm and use respectful words. 

“I would Prefer not to Discuss that If you do not Mind” 

If they do not get that subtlety when using polite words, then you might want to turn the tables and drop a slight hint to them. There are those kinds of people who say everyone is entitled to their opinion but do not want anyone to look back at them. It will shut them up quickly and no hard feelings.

You have to establish boundaries because it is needed to let everyone know that they cannot just walk over you. You should not go on and tolerate something that you do not think is right. If they are adults, then they should know better than to be so intrusive. That is not polite.

It is hard to stop gossip and can turn it into a drama involving many people. You could try silence about the matter for as long as possible to let the issue pass. You know the truth, and that is what matters. You have to stick to your ground and show everyone that it is finally. Being assertive about such things, it matters because people get to respect your decision. With respect comes a way to stop people from sniffing into your business all the time, respect.

Thanks for Asking, I Appreciate your Concern, But I Got this

We grow up doing what we are told to do in life. We are always being told what we are doing wrong and seldom what we are doing right. You know your friends and family better, so your response should be weighed on that. If it is a close friend that you care about, they, of course, do not mean to be rude. You have to show them that you know they are doing it for you.

When telling them to keep off, you need to put their feelings too into consideration, knowing most of them just do this to make sure you are all right. Kicking them in the back with a rude comment may only hurt both your feelings at the end. You do not want to be left by the only people who care about you sitting in a lonely place with ten cats wondering where it went all wrong. Do not be the mistake in your life; instead, appreciate the people and show that you are fine.

“I Appreciate your Interest, but I Prefer to Handle it my way”

Spouses may try to get into your business by looking into who you meet and talk to. It becomes annoying because they might try to be taking your freedom away from you. Most of the time, it can always be a simple act of jealousy that causes them to snoop into your business. You have to remember that this is your life partner; you do not need to say something that may jeopardize your relationship.

a man talking to another/How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business

Try to put on the brakes early. You might thank them for their concern but assure them that you have the situation well in hand. You might respond with, “You know, I appreciate your desire to help me. Make sure it does not seem like you are hiding anything. It is just that you want your space. It only takes one wrong move to destroy a more than a year-long relationship.

“I want to try it my way but, if I need help, I know just where to turn”

Is everyone trying to tell you how to run your home? How to arrange the furniture in your sitting area? Trying to get you to discipline your kids the way they teach theirs or how they have seen kids punished before? Telling you about how your spouse or fiancé is not good and you deserve better? Let us not ignore that they may mean well.

They may have experience of similar behavior with their fiancé or kids. Do not worry about pushing them away in just a few words. Some things are a matter of trial and error. You can just let them know that you are doing it in some other way. If your method does not work, you are going to try theirs.

Whenever anyone is going on about your life and your marriage life, remember it is your life, and no matter how people try to control your choices, you will end up with the mistakes. Make decisions that assure you that you will not regret it. Do not give them a chance to say something like I told you so. Give their words heed but also a boundary. They may try to control you without you knowing.

“I will Keep that in Mind”

Sometimes you might find yourself late for a life event like marriage or having kids in your life. It is not your fault. You might have even given up on it, but your family and friends will not let you be. They will keep reminding you about it at any gathering. A wedding or a funeral. Mostly Aunts have a way of saying it like “look at that young man/woman, and he/she is single.” Some of them might even suggest a good clinic doctor down the street. 

I will keep that in mind and tell them that yes, I heard, and I will think about it. It also hints that they are crossing a line over there. So I do not know what you are trying to say but stop, it is my life, and I make my own decisions.

I think that’s My Business, Don’t you?

Remember that making excuses is not a way to tell them off; it is just a way to encourage them to get into your business more. Gone are the days when you need to explain to everyone what you want to do, especially mothers in law. They are a big part of your life, and to welcome you; they need to know everything you do and how you run your relationships and, at times, control you. 

At times you have to tell them that it is not the ’60s anymore, and it is your business and not theirs. Prove to them you are stable enough, and they do not get into your issues to make you good enough. But always do it with a smile and a way to show them you are not trying to be rude in any way.

two women talking

Conclusion How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business

Getting people to buzz off is painful and scary.  It could ruin your relationships or enable you to earn respect; it all depends on how you handle it. I am sure you are not planning to drive away everyone who cares about you. Here are some of the best ways to keep your relationships healthier by keeping it classically simple, straightforward, and respectful. With this, you save more than just time to explain yourself.

How to Stop Being a Recluse in a Healthy way

Most people find it daunting to transition from being a recluse to living a social life. If they do, they do it in an unhealthy way. The good news is that there are several techniques on how to stop being a recluse without causing any more trouble.

For one to be sequestered, there must be some cause or reasons. Among the reasons making people be cloistered include mystical religious outlook, hiding away as a result of criminal acts, survival by self-sufficiency, and personal philosophy. We are all social beings, and it may be challenging to be withdrawn from the rest.

a person sitting alone

In this article, we shall enlighten you on some of the healthy ways to stop being a recluse. Continue reading to find out more.

Identify the Reasons Why You Are a Recluse

There must be something that drove you to live a secluded life. The first step to stop being a recluse is to find out what made you the person you are. Some things make people seclude themselves from the world and society. 

If, for example, you are reclusive to avoid paying for a crime you committed, then it will be wrong to continue living that secluded life. If you are secluded because of religious reasons, then it will be hard to stop. Imagine you have been a hermit for years, and one day you just change the whole story? How will people view you? We are not saying you can’t stop being a hermit, but the process will be challenging.

Other causes of reclusion include posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, intellectual disability, autism, apathy, social anxiety disorder, and many more.

Find a Job in a Public Place

Working alone may be the leading cause of you being a hermit. What if you can work with others? Find any job that involves many people. You can’t work with people from morning to evening and expect to go home in the same way you came. 

Also, keep changing your working locations. You might find different experiences when working in different environments. You will get a chance to meet new people and exchange different ideas. You will see the need to be around people than being alone. 

Make Use of Technology

While it may be easy to be a recluse, it is hard to live without technology. Life will be difficult for you when you choose to be a recluse without any whereabouts of technology. Through technology, the world has been made a global village.

Even if you want to stay secluded from society and the public at large, you still need to be informed of what is happening in those environments. Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter are the best when it comes to living a reclusive life. With social media, you might find new people, new friends that aren’t from your society. You might organize a meeting with someone you met online. 

Spend SomeTime With Your Relatives

Relatives are the closest people that can quickly help you overcome the challenge of being a recluse. Find time for them. Speak to them more often. Have dinner together. Listen to their stories, even if you won’t utter a word. 

Slowly by slowly, you will find yourself taking part in their conversations.  You will love the idea of having dinner together rather than alone in your room. You will see how happy it feels to be around people.

Make Some Friends

Finding friends may be challenging, especially if you are an introvert, as well as a recluse. You may start by making friends from your relative’s friends. How is this possible? Let’s take an example of your cousin’s friend visiting him/her. You will have an opportunity to meet and interact with them. Exchange contacts, if necessary. 

Another alternative to making friends is through social media services. A true friend will never give you time to be a recluse. They are always checking on you, calling you, having those chats, going out, how will you seclude yourself from all these activities?

The idea here is to be in very close proximity to others. 

Relocate From Your Apartment

The reason you may be living a reclusive life maybe you don’t have close neighbors, or you hate your village people. Other than being alone and secluding yourself from those people, the best option may be to relocate and find a new home. 

You will have a chance to start a new life away from your past and your society. If you are a misanthrope and have difficulty tolerating human society, you might seek refuge at another place. 

Your new neighbors might be the solution to your problem. 

Identify and Explore Your Talents

Among the ways to make connections with people is by identifying your talents and exploring them. If you have a football talent, go out on the streets and find a football team. Join the group and start making friends. You will avoid being a hermit not because of the team but because of your talent. 

While exploring your talent, you will have a chance to meet very many people. Many will ask you to know your place so that they can visit you someday. Give them your address. Make your home know by many people.

If you are a talented musician, join a local music club. It will feel nervous, especially for the first time, but you will overcome it once you break your silence. You will love spending time with other people of different talents. You will learn more things from other people. You can’t explore your ability when you are a hermit. It is challenging to play and enjoy football on your own. You need some company. You need a team with similar interests as yours.

Control Your Emotions

Your emotions could be the leading cause of you being a recluse. If you don’t work on your emotions, you are likely to live a reclusive life forever. It is hard to live with human beings when you are too emotional. We all have feelings, but the difference is how you handle them. 

Immediately after triggering negative feelings, you are likely to make harsh decisions that may affect you for the rest of your life.  Some people decide to become reclusive because they have been wronged by someone from their family. They do not realize that they are the victims and are more affected.

If you learn to control your emotions, you will never find any other reason to be reclusive. Among the ways to control your emotions is to avoid reacting right away. Also, avoid the things that trigger your feelings. 

Avoid Online Shopping

Today you can make an order online, and it is delivered to you right at your doorstep. While it is helpful, it may encourage you to live a reclusive life. You won’t find time to go shopping at the supermarket or shops. This, however, does not mean you should avoid online shopping altogether. The point here is you should try to balance between online shopping and the use of brick and mortar shopping. 

Take a walk on the streets. Go for window shopping even if you do not have money to buy something.  Go and fit in those clothes before you decide to buy them. You are likely to interact with the salespersons while shopping for your products. You will see the need to live a social life with other people.

This is unlike online shopping, where you have little or no interaction with humans. It makes you think that you don’t need people.


Traveling to places you’ve never gone to might help you to stop being a recluse. You will get to enjoy your experiences and meet a lot of people. You will learn to interact with people from different countries, even when you don’t speak the same language.

a man holding his head

Seek Professional Support

Overcoming psychological factors such as emotional trauma, autism, schizotypal personality disorder, among others, may be difficult for you. They might be the main reason why you are a recluse. If you don’t find a solution to these problems, you will remain to be a recluse forever.

Therapists are the best people to go to whenever you are faced with such challenges. They will make you remove all the pain and bitterness from your heart. They will give you advice on how to live with other people. They will make you see the importance of living a social life. They can read your mind and offer you the best solution.

How to Stop Being a Recluse in a Healthy way?

Living a reclusive life is very difficult and challenging. We all need each other for survival. That’s why we were created and placed on earth. Why conclude on living alone? Why cut all communications with people? Why seclude yourself from your society? Why become a recluse? 

If you are still a recluse, then you have no idea what you are missing. There are a lot of experiences out there that can only be enjoyed by someone living a social life. Stop being a hermit.

How to Tune Someone Out Without Losing Them

When you need a little space from someone, you might decide to tune them out temporarily. It is not easy, but at times you will need to learn how to tune someone out without losing them. You do not have to drive them entirely out of your life, but you can take specific measures to get some space. You must ensure that the person you are tuning out does not get the feeling that you need them to leave your life altogether. The following are ways you can use to tune an individual out but not lose them: 

two people fighting/how to tune someone out

Stop Calling and Texting

If you are used to calling and texting them often, you can start limiting the number of times you communicate with them. If you call them once a day, you can begin by reducing to one in two days and finally maybe once a week. You should not, however, ignore their calls entirely because this will suggest that you do not want to communicate altogether. When they get the hint that you are trying to avoid them, you might end up losing them. Avoid being mean to them and saying anything hurtful. It helps to be brief and polite when talking to them. 

If they are persistent in calling or texting you, you can try and block their numbers for a while. It is also easier to change your number and not give them your new cell phone details until you want to talk to them. Do not send them emails and avoid interacting with them on any social media platform.  

Talk Less to The Person

You do not have to talk to the person you are trying to tune out for long. Make your conversations with them as brief as you can and always stick to the essential things. You can call them only if you must and when you finish telling them why you called hung up the phone. Do not engage in any other unnecessary conversations. You will be able to keep your communications brief, and they might also get the hint that you need some space. It is, however, important that you keep from sounding rude when you are talking to them.

Male sure that you keep your distance when you are addressing the person you want to tune out by not making small talk. If you have to interact with them daily, like a neighbor or a colleague, you should try to avoid the places they frequent like break rooms. You can also defect personal conversations so that they do not get to know too much about your life.

Keep Distance

Most times, the person you are trying to tune out is someone you know well. You might know where they like hanging out and the places they frequent. If it a bar, you can try going to a different bar form the one they frequent. This way, you will not run into them and have to interact with them. If they are family members, you can avoid family gatherings for a while and also avoid hoisting any of them. In case you attend a meeting and run into them, you can make yourself busy talking to other people. 

 When they notice that you are having conversations with other people in a gathering, they will not interrupt. They mustn’t realize that you are ignoring them intentionally. Be smart enough to look like you are busy, and you did not get time to talk to them. This way, they will not feel like you are ignoring them. 

Keep yourself busy

Sometime when you are trying and eventually succeeding in getting a solution on how to tune someone out, that is the time you think about them the most. You might want to get yourself busy so that you can successfully tune them out. Trying getting a new hobby or whatever you can to keep you occupied. This way, you will be too busy to think about them until you are ready to let them back in your life.

Try to make new friends, and you will successfully tune out another person. Make sure that you do not engage in activities that will hurt you in the long run while trying to tune someone out. Read a book, go on a vacation, and catch up on that TV series you have always wanted to see and many more. There are so many activities that you can do to keep you busy and even entertained so that you can keep your mind occupied.

Focus on yourself

This is especially important if the person you are trying to tune out is toxic or a bad influence in one way or another. You can focus more on yourself and what will make you happy and choose something important to you. You can join a gym, do meditation and yoga to help you tune them out. It is not easy to tune a person out, especially if they were a significant part of your life. This process needs you to have a little self-will so that you can avoid the urge to call or visit them. 

By focusing on the things that make you happier or healthier, you will realize how important tuning them out is to you. This is because at times tuning someone out is crucial for your mental health. When you are trying to heal from something, you need some space and working on yourself first before you let other people in.

Do not talk about them

When you are getting to learn how to tune someone out, you should avoid talking about them to other people. This is because talking about them will keep them in your mind, and you will not be successful in tuning them out. If you are with a mutual friend, the conversation about them might come up. When this happens, you should deflect the conversation to something else.

Try as much as you can to talk about something else when you are faced with a situation that their names come up. If you cannot avoid talking about them, you can excuse yourself for a while and return when the conversation about them is over. Do not give your opinion about the topic or person when you cannot avoid people who are talking about them. Stick to people who are not mutual friends with the person you are trying to tune out. 

Unfollow Them

You do not need to know details about what is going on in the life of a person you are tuning out. Do not get curious about what they are doing so that you can focus on other things. Unfollowing an individual does not have to end with social media only. You can also avoid people who will update you on their activities. Whenever possible, you can also prevent social media pages of mutual friends so that you do not get to see their pictures.  

Most people like to update everything they do on social media pages. This is why you need to try to avoid the pages that the person is in. If you are in any group that they are actively involved in, you can consider leaving if they are not that important.

Tell Them You Need Space

Sometimes the most mature way you can deal with someone you are trying to tune out is being honest with them. However, it is essential that you be gentle and not hurt their feelings in the process. You can explain why you need them to give you a bit of space so that they do not feel like you are trying to avoid them. Ensure that the person you are talking to is mature enough to understand your reasons.

You can always have a buffer when you are talking to the individual. They can help you explain to them why you need to tune them out for a while and ensure that they understand you. Do not be rude, and do not use hurtful words when talking to them and ensure that you meet them in a calm and comfortable environment.

Keep any Physical Reminders Away

If you are trying to tune out someone very close to you, it is possible that you might have shared a lot and spent a lot of time together. It is, therefore, difficult to tune them out because so many things remind you of them. In case you have any physical evidence of your time together, it might help to keep them away for a while. Store away pictures, gifts, and anything that will remind you of them.

How to tune someone out

When you have finally succeeded in knowing how to tune someone out, you should try not to back down until you are ready. Remember to put your feelings first and focus on the reason why you must tune this person out. When you have your goals straight, then you will be successful. Make sure that you do not hurt other people in the process so that you will not lose them altogether.

How to Accept Defeat in Everyday Situations

It is difficult and tough to face Defeat or easy to accept that losing means we are failures. To admit Defeat, we should first affirm the situation. Smart people than you or I have noted some admirable quotes and extracts. Here is a piece of excellent advice from different people from history on how to Accept Defeat and even grow from your mistakes.

a disappointed man

Be Aware of Your Emotions 

First, you should think of what you have just experienced and understood how you are responding to that situation. If you are annoyed, ask yourself why. If you are dissatisfied, ask yourself what you expected to achieve. Before you control or accept your emotions, you must first understand and believe them.

  • Think of how it would feel if you would have won. Make a comparison between those two states and examine what will remain the same between the two results.
  • Speak to your close friend about your feelings. He/she will advise you, and you will be able to do what you need to do to phrase with the situation.

Validate Yourself 

Talk positive words to yourself and declare there is no way that you will feel wrong. No feeling is inalienably positive or negative. You should admit the fact that what you are feeling is acceptable.

  • Keep in mind that it is essential to hold emotions; sometimes, it may be unwise to follow some feelings such as anger to their logical ending.
  • You should think of at least one thing about yourself that makes you proud. It may be your strengths, how you have helped others, or what you have succeeded on. You should show gratitude to yourself instead of looking at the negativities.

Keeping of Perspectives

It may be difficult to prevent your Defeat. But it is possible to control the reaction towards it. Take a breath and be levelheaded as you can. Take action and remind yourself that it has already happened, and you cannot change it. This attitude will make you flexible and adaptable, which will help you to handle negativity in future.

  • Life goes on one defeat, and it may not be relevant in the strategy of things.

Developing Your Self-esteem

Remember, you just got defeated, which does not mean you are a failure. One way to handle such a fall is to heighten your self-esteem. Just think of it as a chance to bounce off back and come back as a more significant success. Just do not get hard on yourself, be cool about it. There are many opportunities out there are waiting for you to catch up to them and make them your very own.

  • Try to start again by following these tips whenever you get defeated and come out top next time you try again.
  •  Be innovative and look at the positive side when it comes to life.  
  • Accepting a lose gracefully and trying again always makes you feel fresh and makes you the bigger guy.

Never Give Up

Stick to the script of the game. Do not give up on the game just because you did not win. When you give up, it becomes a failure. Who wants to add that to the list? I would guess no one. Negligence is failing not to try. So, to stop these diseases of failure, remember why you started in the first place. Opportunities are just too many to end. 

  • Never close your eyes on your dreams. 
  • Keep on trying, and you have a million chances to try again. 
  • Whenever you feel like giving up, just remember what you have gone through to get where you are.

The Half Glass Theory

Defeat is bitter. No one wants it to be part of their life. We all always look at the glass as half empty rather than seeing it as half full. Whenever something does not go the way we want, we only see the dark side. We never look at the bright, and we do not try to be optimistic about that. It is just a chance to improve your skills, an opportunity to make another decision, and learn from your mistakes.  

  • Get your head straight.
  • Train yourself to see only the positive side.
  • Always look at the glass as half-filled instead of half empty.

Do Not Stick to the Blame Game

People always find it easy to blame someone for their Defeat. It makes them feel bitter about themselves. What they do not know is that they are only making excuses for not trying again. For not taking another chance. Losing something which you have set your heart and hard work on does not settle well with anyone. Most people take the way of blaming others rather than facing it because blaming is easy. You have got nothing to lose there, with blaming others just respect and trust. You will not take responsibility for your actions and always find everyone else and everything on the reason you lost.

  • Focus on the issue at hand, analyze and make sure you do not blame people for your mistake.
a man holding spectacles

Do Not take Defeat too Seriously 

Everything can be worse than how it already is. Consider that there is a silver lining that you have not seen. Try to find the joke in what has happened, and keep a wide smile on your face even though it is hard for you to force a real smile. You might find the situation funnier, smaller, or more awkward once you take a step back from your sulkiness.

  • Remember that there is always a silver lining
  • Be your clown and find the joke
  • Remember the  happy moments

Let the Idea of Defeat Slide Off

 When you lose, your feelings can get mixed up and mix up the way you see things. Do not keep on trying to figure out what happened or why it happened, and most of all, do not let Defeat, defeat you. You might feel your emotions mixing up with fury, disappointment, or resentment. Such feelings, in this case, will only make you feel worse about yourself.  

  • You can let go of all that and refuse to seek retaliation
  •  Accept that failure is a constant occurrence of life.

Agree that what you Did was Wrong

If you lost in an argument, you could improve your reputation by accepting that your methods are improper and that you agree fair and square. Consider saying sorry, recognizing your mistake, and showing how you have learned you were wrong. It is more shameful and childish to cling to what is wrong and refusing to admit that someone else is correct. 

Remember that human is to error and making mistakes is part of being human. It is part of our growth and a large part of what helps us to mature and to prove we are grown up. You will lose trustworthiness if you handle the situation in an immature way.  

  • If you respond calmly, the rest of the people and your competition will see that you can admit when you are wrong.

Learn from your Mistakes

If you can take Defeat as a way of learning rather than a way of failure, you can move on flawlessly with your life. You finish tall, reflect learning and move on with a smile on your face. If you conduct yourself, in the same way, any other time you lose, you will find it easier and more comfortable every time, and you may come to realize that you have won differently. 

  • Try to take it that failure is part of your long journey.
  • Ask yourself about why you failed and what you learn from it.
  • Think of why you failed, and whether you could have done anything about it.
  • Ask yourself whether you unintentionally forced yourself to fail because you still do not know the goal you are trying to reach.

Advance on your Errors

Relive on what happened, and look for lessons. Analyze the situation accurately. Figure out what you can really do to stop this from happening again and make it actionable. The more you focus on your next win, the better you may feel about your last defeat. Not all winners have won their first match. If you don’t accept Defeat gracefully, you will act rashly. People may notice if you don’t maturely handle your loss.

  • Focus on the future

Conclusion; How to Accept Defeat in Everyday Situations

Defeat in everyday life does not mean you are worthless. It just means that someone else was better prepared than you were. Be graceful about your disappointment, congratulate the winner on his success, and learn from him. So how will you prepare for the second round?

a disappointed man

Do not get it into your head that you failed to take it, that it is another opportunity to do better. Just like the bulb invention, the guy failed a couple of times to create the masterpiece. Maybe that failure is only a chance for better originality and better success. Defeat is not a failure; failure is believing and not doing anything about losing. 

How to Politely Decline a Gift That You Feel isn’t Appropriate

Did you know that not every gift you receive is genuine? Do not open all tips that come your way in open arms. First, make sure you understand the sender, the intentions of the sender, and the state of the gift. So many people have put their lives in danger after receiving tips from anonymous people.

giving a gift/How to Politely Decline a Gift

You have to put your desires and needs aside when receiving gifts. Consider what your consent tells you before you accept and open them. Make sure there is a witness to attest that the item was sent to you by an unknown person. Read on to find out How to Politely Decline a Gift.

Be Polite

Are you here wondering How to Politely Decline a Gift? Make sure that you do not show how you feel about the gift. Be polite and appreciate the present. Let the person know that you do not need that gift and that they should take it back. Many people love gifts, but you should know that some are there to destroy your life.

Even if the person insists on leaving the gift to you, tell them it is not your favorite, or you have a similar one. This way, the present will be taken back, and it will be the best way to save your life. Most enemies try to be sweet to administer an act of revenge indirectly.

Send Someone else to Return the Gift

Make sure that you handle the gift with care before returning it. Do not open it as long as you know who sent it to you. If you know the person is stubborn, you do not have to return it by yourself. Instead, look for a trustworthy friend who is brave enough to take back the gift successfully.

This is How to Politely Decline a Gift from your friend whom you recently broke up. Sending a friend will help you avoid the drama and chances of you falling in the trap again. There will be no chance to abuse or fight since you will be absent. People who refuse to move on with life after a breakup are not trustworthy.

They can set you a trap, to allow room for revenge to take place. Therefore, you need to be alert when dealing with gifts. Let the person know that you are okay without the presents.

Be Straightforward

This is the best way to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift. Do not sugarcoat the situation; instead, go directly to the point that the gift is not appropriate. Some competitors may want to put you down, especially if you do better than them.

Be aware that the gifts can either put you in trouble with the law or poison your life to death. Be vigilant as you handle such cases since most people have fallen in this trap. You may end up in prison, or they lose life mysteriously.

To avoid such scenarios, make sure that you speak out to a trustworthy friend about this issue. So, in case you get in trouble, you will have a witness to attest to your innocence. Tell the competitor that you cannot accept the gift since you have unsolved differences.

Use Evidence

Some organizations have strict rules concerning gifts. No one should offer presents except on special occasions such as Christmas. Will you compromise your job for the sake of a gift? You will learn How to Politely Decline a Gift at your workplace. 

Make sure that you have a copy of that rule to save yourself from trouble. Show it to the person offering the gift, and if they insist, you have no option but to report the matter. You have no idea what the intention of the award was.

This person may be eyeing your position. When you accept the gift, it will be clear evidence that can get a job loss or demotion.

You have a Similar Item

It is an excellent tactic on How to Politely Decline a Gift from someone you do not trust. You must not have that similar item to say no. Therefore, make sure that the person does not notice you just lied. An excellent example of that statement is “whoa! It looks exactly like the dress I wore yesterday; I wish it were different. Thank you so much, but I cannot keep it.”

The gift-giver will not need any other explanation since you cannot keep two similar dresses. The person will not notice that it was your tactic to avoid the gift. You, on the other hand, will not be left feeling guilty over the issue since you reacted positively.

opening a gift

You are Married

Some suitors ignore the fact that you have a ring on the finger. They insist on giving you gifts and taking you out to court you. Others want to destroy your relationship to prove that marriage is not good.

Therefore, when you get married, be sure that trouble has just begun. Make sure that you remain faithful to your partner despite the challenges you come along. You have to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift any time you come across them.

If you say no and the person insists, you need to go straight to the point that you are married. Also, state you cannot accept gifts from other suitors except the one you are married or engaged to. You will have to stay by your principles to avoid temptations since some presents are beautiful and irresistible.


This is another fantastic idea on How to Politely Decline a Gift. Who argues in cases of a medical problem? I am sure nobody can dare force you to eat something you are allergic to. If you do not get well with someone, it is hard to trust their gifts no matter how sincere it may look.

Be very cautious and control your feelings, especially when it comes to foods and drinks. Some poisons have no scent or color. So, when foods and beverages are contaminated, it is challenging to determine.

Even if you are starving or you love the kind of food and drink in the gift box, you will have to control yourself. You can overcome this by saying, “thank you for the concern, but I am allergic to this drink or food.”

Do not add other explanations to avoid setting yourself up. Most people lose their lives so quickly if they do not control their emotions and feelings. If you do trust someone, make sure you avoid gifts and services from them altogether.

You do not take processed food

Note that it is just a way of saying no respectfully. You do not have to reveal all your truth so that people can understand you. Learn to be reserved, especially to strangers, and those people you do not get along too well.

You will be able to create a hard time when they plan to put you down. However, you will have to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift they offer you. In case they offer you processed food, you will politely tell them you do not take due to health reasons. Your diet must be specially made at home.

It is not your Type 

Telling someone, this is not my type is rude. So, you will have to frame your statement to look genuine. If someone offers you a car as a gift and you feel it is not appropriate, you will have to be creative. Maybe the car is far beyond your financial position; therefore, it will create suspicion among your friends and colleagues.

To avoid all this attention and embarrassment, you will have to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift. The gift-giver may also be someone senior at your workplace; therefore, it will be unethical to receive such a gift.

You will have to tell the giver the car is not your type and that you are okay with the kind of car you currently own. Insist that you also love simple vehicles with a different design and color. Additionally, remind the person that, according to the organizations, policies no worker should receive gifts if there is no occasion to support it.

Remain firm to your explanations to avoid falling into temptations. You will save your job position and reputation at work if you decline such an inappropriate gift.

showing off a gift

Conclusion How to Politely Decline a Gift

I believe all the above ways to decline a gift will help you. It is not always okay to rejoice when someone gifts you. Make sure you think beyond the beauty, quality, and the need that you have for that gift. Remember that not all that glitters is gold.

Also, when the deal is too good, think twice. I advise that you do not pick gifts from strangers or in places you feel insecure. Do the best you can to avoid getting trapped by your enemies in the name of gifts.

How to Deal with People who Put you Down Often

Did you know that you can survive positively among those who bully you? Yes, it is possible since you just need to ignore them and remain positive. There is nothing as humiliating as getting a silence when you expect an outburst. You should know that those who put you down have something positive they see in you, but they cannot have it.

a angry soldier

That is the reason they try to show you that they are better than you. Remain positive since you already know you are better than them. Read on to get to know How to Deal with People who Put You Down.

Ignore them

I know it is not easy, especially if you did not attack the person. Try and hold your anger by focusing on more positive things. Swallow the pain and continue with what you were doing. This person will just leave you alone, especially if you do not respond. It is the best way to Deal with People who Put you Down.

If you notice the person does not stop with the abuses and harsh words on, you just leave that area. It will save you from getting into trouble. Such people just want to play with your emotions and trigger anger in you. Remember, anger can lead you to commit a criminal offense such as murder, assault, among others that can make you spend the best years of your life in jail.

Change Friends

You may have fallen in a friendship cycle that does not appreciate you. So, every time you are around them, they have to put you down. It is a clear indication they do not want you around. End that friendship as fast as you realize what their intention is. I know it is not easy to find new friends, but for the sake of your peace of mind, just quit the relationship.

This is another recommendable way on How to Deal with those People who put you Down. After you drop such a friendship, you will realize that you have made so many improvements than before. It is because when you are put down, you perform poorly on your daily activities since you are always downcast.

Hang out with people who appreciate and uplift you to help you overcome the harsh words said to you. Avoid talking about the person who put you down as it will make you feel worse, slightly blush the thoughts away by doing something fun such a hobby, watch a movie, or anything else that will uplift your spirit.

Do not React Immediately

This is difficult, but first, focus on controlling your emotions by staying calm. Let some time pass before you address the issue, which will be easier to respond when you are relaxed. If it is your employer at work, you know very well that your outburst can cost your job. Therefore, face your employer later and explain to the person that some words used earlier are hurtful, and you do not like it.

Your employer reacts very calmly after you explain yourself since the person will be calm at the moment. You will realize that this is another excellent way on How to Deal with those People who put you Down. It is easy to receive an apology even if you were wrong since you did not talk back or react immediately.

Additionally, a deep breath will save you from an outburst. I advise that you move to the nearest window or door and take in some fresh air for about five minutes. You will realize that it feels much better than to start an endless argument.

Report the Matter to the Authorities

Before you report the case, I believe that you must have given chances for a long time. First of all, inform the person to stop the behavior as it makes you feel downcast. Also, talk to friends and coworkers to warn the person to stop. However, if the person does not stop, you need to report to your seniors if it is in the working environment.

This is another great way to Deal with those People who put you Down. The behavior can cost such a person their jobs since it is unethical. Make sure you have witnesses who will support your case. This will push the authorities to instill the necessary discipline on the culprit.

anger on phone

Try and Understand the Person

Do you know some siblings just want to make fun of you, make you angry, and laugh it off? The best solution on How to Deal with Those People who Put you Down is understanding them. When you show them that it does not affect you, they will not find fun in putting you down.

You can also talk to your sibling over some snack, and tell them that it is not good to make fun of others. Ask them what they would feel if someone else put them down. It is an excellent way to try and make them feel the pain others feel. You will realize that a calm talk over the best snack can change them to be better people.

Stand up for Yourself

You cannot always remain calm for people to put you down. Stand up and defend yourself immediately; someone starts putting you down. Look the person to the eye and tell them that you are very proud of yourself, your achievements, your position, your finances, and all that you have not accomplished.

Stand firm and make sure that your voice is also firm, and you will realize such people have no courage to talk back. This is one of the best ways on How to Deal with those People who put you Down.

Own your 50% Mistake

Before you defend yourself, try to remember if you did any offense to this person. If you indeed made this person feel down, you have to apologize first for that offense. Make the person understand that you did not mean it.

You would be able to learn How to Deal with those People who put you Down by looking back if you did any wrong to them. Your apology will save you from bullies and disrespect from colleagues and your neighbor’s.

Exit the Situation Quickly

Exiting does not mean you are a coward. It shows that you are courageous and mature enough to stay away from toxic people. Give your stern response to the person as you leave the room. It will not be of any gain if you spend the whole day in an argument with people who have insecurities in life.

Your exit will leave them wondering what to do next since their plan cannot work on you. This is a fantastic way to Deal with those People who put you Down. Additionally, your response will make such a person stop putting you down again.

Appreciate the Person

Not everyone who puts you down means to hurt you. You can attest that some of them speak the truth about you. That is why you have to tell such a person, “thank you for your concern, maybe you are right, I will look into it’’. This is one of the best ways on How to Deal with those People who put you Down.

Maybe it is your parent who wants to bring out the best in you. Do not think that they do not love you, but it is because they want to see you shape up when you are still young. Appreciate the concern in a positive way, work on it, and make them proud.

Additionally, make such a person feel essential for opening your eyes, and the person will not try that again. If the aim was to make you feel down because of the stated weakness, then it did not work. However, the person might be right so; you will surely have to work on that weakness.

Stay Away from Social Media

This is where most people develop stress, depression, and become suicidal. If you cannot cope with the pressure you get from social media feedback, you need to stay offline for some time. This is a great way to Deal with those People who put you Down.

The feedback comes in the form of messages and comments from people you barely know. Most of them are very harsh and do not care what you will feel. Make sure you keep yourself busy with other fun activities that will prevent you from developing stress and depression.

However, if you are a celebrity, you will have to employ a personal assistant who will run your account. This will keep you away from most of the negative feedback that puts you down. Also, learn to ignore the messages and feedback that negatively attack you since not everyone can love and appreciate you.

a happy girl/How to Deal with People who Put You Down

Conclusion; How to Deal with People who Put You Down

Not everyone you come across in life will love and appreciate you. So, learn to survive, ignore, and understand what people say about you. It is because we are all social beings with different opinions in life. I advise that you stay positive always. If you do better than them, they will never be happy. Keep doing the best you can.

How to Deal With a Clingy Friend in a Nice Way

A human being is known to be a social being. This is the reason why most people normally create friends wherever they go. This can be in their workplace, school and other social places where people mingle freely. Having a friend who can support you from time to time is always a good idea.

palm with stop sign

However, as much as you might need his or her support, there are instances when you might be short on time or energy to devote to the friendship. Such friends might want to be part of all your plans, show up in your house unannounced and even try to mimic the things you do. This clingy behavior can get annoying. As annoying as it can get, you would not want to hurt your friend’s feelings by calling them annoying. The following are ways on how to deal with a clingy friend nicely:

Take Longer to Respond to Their Messages and Phone Calls

Your clingy friend might have texted you severally in the recent past. Ideally, you should respond to these texts as soon as you get a chance to respond. You can either reply to the text that he or she sent you or just choose to call back later in the day. However, your clingy friend might feel as if you also desire to get the same attention that he or she is looking for when you reply to the texts immediately. Therefore, you should wait for a day or two and then reply to his or her texts. To avoid annoying your friend, you can show him or her that you were busy or you had forgotten your phone at home.

Introduce Them to New Friends and Situations

Your friend might be clingy to you because he does not have other friends with whom he can hang out with. Perhaps, you might be the only person who might be very close to them. If you want to deal with this friend nicely, you can introduce him to other friends out there. This will reduce the tendency of being clingy all the time. You can trust that he will get new friends and perhaps be able to freely interact with them. Introducing your clingy friend to new experiences might make him change his behavior. This is because his focus will be on the new experience or situation. Anything that makes him think less about you will go a long way in mitigating this behavior

Ask Him or Her to Meet You Out When Going Places Instead of Driving Together

You might be tempted to call your clingy friend and travel together so that you can chat as you drive to your desired destination. This could be a wedding or a burial ceremony. Calling your clingy friend to accompany you as you drive is not right. You should instead ask him to come using his means and perhaps meet you once he arrives at the venue. This will allow him to interact with other people as he heads to the venue. The good news is that this encourages your friend to do things on his own.

If you are going to watch a movie together, you can ask him to get to the movie early enough and then arrive later. He can even order tickets for both of you and then reserve a seat for you. This will go a long way in enabling them to be alone for quite some time before you arrive at the venue. Over time, your friend will have the confidence that he can do things on his own without solely relying on you.

Set Boundaries

Dealing with a clingy friend can be easier if you set boundaries. You should set boundaries about how much time together. Ideally, you might not be able to be there with your friend any time that he or she pleases. All you should do is to cut them out of your life without making them feel bad. Here, you will be seeking out a healthier balance. You should make your friend know when he or she is overstepping the line.

Tell him or her that you will not be able to respond to texts right away and that you might not able to be too available like you used to in the past. Do not be harsh as you express yourself as this might make him feel as if he has been offending him. You can tell him that you have appreciated every moment that you have spent together in the past and you are about to change the way you operate. This way, your friend will learn to be alone for quite some time.

friends conversing over drinks

Make Plans That Are Convenient For You

Do not let your friend spend more time in your house for many hours. For instance, on Saturday’s you can tell your friend that you will be going to the market to buy a few household items so you will not have ample time to watch a movie together. You can insist on leaving together as you leave for the market. You can even fake a reason that makes you stay apart for a while. Your plans should seem to favor you only. This will make your friend have some time alone and perhaps reflect on his life.

Unfollow Them on Social Media

You might be fond of commenting on your friend’s posts on social media platforms such as Facebook simply because you get notifications on your phone. Commenting on his or her social media platform shows her that you are interested in him or her. You can unfollow her on these platforms such that you will not be able to see whenever your friend posts anything on these platforms. Also, this means that you will not be tempted to check on your friend now and then. You should do this secretly such that your friend will not know. This way, you will be able to distance away from your friend in a nice way.

Be Honest and Say No

Your clingy friend might want you to hang out together during the weekend. If you had other plans that weekend, you should tell him or her that you will not be available for him or her. For instance, if you had planned to visit your parents on that weekend, you can tell him this and promise that you will try hanging out next weekend. Being honest will make your friend know that you are not hiding anything or him or her. Sometimes, if you feel that you want to spend time with your lover, you can tell your clingy friend so without hiding anything from him. Saying no to some requests have worked well for many people out there.

Don’t Ask for Their Help in a Situation and Reject It If They Offer It to You

Chances are that you might have asked your clingy friend for a favor sometime back. If you have ever done so, you should do that anymore. You should find a solution to your issues without involving him or her. Perhaps, this could be one of the reasons why he or she is clingy to you. You can instead ask a reliable friend for help. Remember that the more you depend on your space-invading friend for help, the more they will think that it is normal to cling on to you. Therefore, you should put a stop to all this by not showing them that they are indispensable for you.

Don’t Show Interest in Their Personal Life

Your clingy friend might have the tendency to pour his heart to you from time to time. He might be the type that seeks advice, sympathy or attention now and them. Chances are that you had invested yourself emotionally and helped them in the past. However, this might be cumbersome for you in the long run. Therefore, you should stop showing signs that you are interested in helping him deal with his issues. For instance, if your clingy friend comes for advice from you, you can tell him that the issue is beyond you politely. You can recommend that he seeks helps from a professional and so on.

Stop Initiating a Conversation with Him or Her All the Time

Starting to talk to your clingy friend might make him feel special in a certain way. This should be the reason why he or she is still clingy on you. If you feel that you need to talk to someone during your free time, you can choose someone else. Better still, you can choose to do something else to occupy yourself. The good news is that if you fail to talk to him first, your friend will not talk to you and this will make him less clingy at some point.

an angry toddler

How to Deal With a Clingy Friend

Clingy friends can make you feel emotionally exhausted. This could make you desire to spend less time with them. Sometimes, you might get so frustrated to the extent of wanting to abruptly end the friendship. However, this should not be the case. Your clingy friend can still be your friend by considering the above-mentioned ideas. Consider these ideas on how to deal with a clingy friend nicely and you will not regret. These ideas are truly incredible.

How to Tell Someone Off In a Professional Way

Are you looking for a way to tell someone off in a professional way? Chances are that you are not alone. First, you will note that we have people who normally offend us from time to time and yet they are very close to us. This person could be your close friend or even your employee. He or she should be a person whom you respect and would not wish to terminate their friendship or contract any time soon. Reprimanding someone is not always that easy. You might end up uttering some vulgar words that might hurt the other person. This is not right. The good news is that this article will help you know how to tell someone off in a professional way:

professionals talking to each other

Handle the Matter Privately

If you have to scold someone, you should not do it in public. You will note that few people respond well to a public reprimand. You should instead call them to your office or house and express how you feel about their behavior. Make this session as private as possible. Nobody else should be present apart from the two of you. You should deliver your message privately and keep it confidential. This will make the other person feel respected despite being in the wrong.

Do Not Sugarcoat Anything

You might try to sugarcoat something to make your partner not to feel bad. This might seem to be a good idea but it can be detrimental. You should tell them that they are wrong without beating about the bush. This way, your find will know what exactly went wrong. Beating about the bush will only confuse them and he or she might end up repeating the same mistakes unknowingly. As you address this issue, you should be as honest as possible. Make him or her understand your point and why you are angry at him or her in a nice way. As long as you remain professional, everything else will be smooth for you.

Focus on Behavior and Not Character

Our character is not always the same. We are all different in our own ways. For instance, if you have employed several people in your company, you do not expect them to have the same character. They will be different because of their personalities and so on. The most important thing is to meet organizational goals. You should not focus on the character but on the behavior of that person. 

If the person reports to work late, you should address that issue as soon as possible. It is not right to dive into the character or personality of a person. Focus on the behavior that can be corrected in the short term. If the employee has a habit of wrecking work, you should address such issues objectively. Do not focus on the attitude or character of the culprit as doing this creates defensiveness.

Try to Listen to the Other Person

Talking to the other person without allowing him to air his grievances is not right. For instance, your partner might be in the wrong due to something that you can help him or her deal with. This will go a long way in facilitating behavior change.

Learn to listen as you try to address the issue, both of you. This will make the other party feel loved and appreciated. You might be surprised that you might be the cause of this problem. Perhaps there is something that you could have done in the past to mitigate this but you failed. Listening to him or her talk will help you know how to solve the issue amicably.

Be Specific

You might generalize several issues such that the other party does not know what exactly is wrong with their behavior. Instead, you should be specific. For instance, you can tell him that on Tuesday, you were 10 minutes later and on Friday, you were 15 minutes late. This way, they will be able to relate and will know that you are more objective. Also, this will show him that you are keen to note the small mistakes that he did in the past. He will not be defensive as you will have pointed out the facts.

two people talking in front of a computer/how to tell someone off in a professional way

Document the Discussion

As you purpose to tell off your college or partner, you should consider documenting what you are going to talk about. This will help you in case the other person repeats the same mistake all the time. At least, you will have something to defend you against any potential litigation in the future. This will also show them that you are serious about what you are going to discuss in the meeting. You can record everything that you are going to discuss and keep it recording for future use.

Consider Offering Help

Criticizing your friend without offering any help is not right. If you notice that your colleague has done something wrong you should be willing to tell him that he messed up and what he can do to mitigate the problem. This is more important if you are addressing a person who is charismatic and would not like to lose him in the future. 

Offering help shows them that you were reprimanding them in good faith. Your colleague might appreciate the fact that you took your time to scold them and later offer them a working solution. If your employee needs counseling, you can offer to split the cost of a coach and help the individual make the behavior change.

Be Gentle

As you purpose to reprimand your friend or employee, you should remember that you are dealing with a human being with emotions and feelings. The last thing you would like to do is to hurt their ego. The way you make your presentation can make or break the difference between constructive and condescending. 

You should not yell at your colleague when talking to him. Be gentle and composed so that your friend does not feel as if you dislike him or has a personal vendetta against him. Therefore, you should avoid using defensive body language and vulgar language. Try your best to maintain an overall upbeat demeanor. Remember that these physical cues say more than your actual words.

Take Your Time and Take Action Soon

You might be tempted to overreact in the heat of the moment or overlook important information. This is not right. You should take time and gather all the evidence that you need. Try to be as composed as possible during this period. Sometimes, you can choose to watch and see if your colleague will change his behavior before telling them off. Also, try as much as possible to avoid jumping into conclusions. Take your time and watch the behavior of the other person before finally reprimanding him or her.

Explain the Standard and Why You Deem it Important

We all stand for different things in life. If someone does not meet those standards, he or she might end up offending you unawares. You should not scold someone without telling them why you think what they did was wrong. For instance, if an employer reports to work late, you can show him or her what the policy of the company indicates. You can even tell him or her that you are losing customers due to her lateness. Make the other person understand why they are wrong or why their behavior is not pleasant to you. This will make them relate and be able to correct their behavior in the future.

Start With Praise

We all like being appreciated in one way or another. As you plan to scold someone, you should not start by criticizing them immediately. However, you should first appreciate the areas that they have done well in the past. Always begin with praise and honest appreciation. This will make the other party feel appreciated despite being summoned. You can even crack a joke and then narrow down to your point. You can encourage him or her to take the criticism positively and to work on the areas have you have mentioned. As that person leaves your office or home, he or she will leave with some pride and will purpose to change for the better.

Make it Look Easy

You should make the other person find his fault easy to correct. Telling someone that they are bad at something and is probably beyond their control can demoralize them. This can destroy every incentive they might have to improve on it. Therefore, show him or her that it is easy to correct those faults and become a better person. Show them that you have faith in them and they will feel encouraged to work on their faults.

Give Room for Questions

It is important to let the other party ask questions instead of giving orders. You will note that there is always something magical about allowing people to correct their mistakes. Therefore, you should guide him towards the right path by providing him with suggestions and ideas. By doing this, he will have ownership of the change and will be able to understand the stakes involved.

two professionals talking

Telling someone off professionally should be difficult for you. You just need to use the above-mentioned ideas and you will be good to go. As long as you keep their feeling in mind and remain objective when scolding them, you can trust that you will get better results. Your friend or colleague will thereby improve his behavior and become a better person. Consider these ideas on how to tell someone off in a professional way and you will not be disappointed.