How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business in a Kind Way

Wondering how to tell someone to mind their own business? Most of the time, those people who try to look into our lives are probably the closest people we have. They may be extended family, related members like a second cousin, or just our close friends. Getting them off your back can be quite a hustle since you do not want to break their heart at the end.

a woman blocking her ears

 Most of the relationships formed breaks too quickly because of us acting too soon on our feelings, which leads to a lifetime of regret and sometimes depression since you end up pushing away those people who were only trying to help. Who would you lose in a lifetime just because of not finding the right words to tell them to back off? Breaking ties that only comes once in a lifetime just because they care too much, it becomes annoying.  

Do you want to tell your siblings and nosy mother who is always snooping around your messages that it is not in their place to know everything in your life? Here are ways to tell someone to mind their own business in a good way.

Being Polite with an I am kind, Thanks

Sometimes we can exceptionally be blunt with things. If a coworker wants to know what you are up to, the first thing you will probably ask him/her is, ‘why do you want to know? Or why do you need to know? Of course, they always respond like ‘ I want to know what you are up to.’ 

The thing here is that the words I am good, give them a hint you are telling them to back off a little. Most people do not try etiquette to get them out of such situations, and that might be the problem. A protocol is the mother of speech, and without it, you get to lose your relationship. Next time you choose to be blunt, think of how long that relationship has gone for. Ask yourself if you just want to throw all that away.

Any time you think of rushing off at a coworker who is too nosy for their good, remember etiquette can quickly get their nose of your business. All you need is to stay calm and use respectful words. 

“I would Prefer not to Discuss that If you do not Mind” 

If they do not get that subtlety when using polite words, then you might want to turn the tables and drop a slight hint to them. There are those kinds of people who say everyone is entitled to their opinion but do not want anyone to look back at them. It will shut them up quickly and no hard feelings.

You have to establish boundaries because it is needed to let everyone know that they cannot just walk over you. You should not go on and tolerate something that you do not think is right. If they are adults, then they should know better than to be so intrusive. That is not polite.

It is hard to stop gossip and can turn it into a drama involving many people. You could try silence about the matter for as long as possible to let the issue pass. You know the truth, and that is what matters. You have to stick to your ground and show everyone that it is finally. Being assertive about such things, it matters because people get to respect your decision. With respect comes a way to stop people from sniffing into your business all the time, respect.

Thanks for Asking, I Appreciate your Concern, But I Got this

We grow up doing what we are told to do in life. We are always being told what we are doing wrong and seldom what we are doing right. You know your friends and family better, so your response should be weighed on that. If it is a close friend that you care about, they, of course, do not mean to be rude. You have to show them that you know they are doing it for you.

When telling them to keep off, you need to put their feelings too into consideration, knowing most of them just do this to make sure you are all right. Kicking them in the back with a rude comment may only hurt both your feelings at the end. You do not want to be left by the only people who care about you sitting in a lonely place with ten cats wondering where it went all wrong. Do not be the mistake in your life; instead, appreciate the people and show that you are fine.

“I Appreciate your Interest, but I Prefer to Handle it my way”

Spouses may try to get into your business by looking into who you meet and talk to. It becomes annoying because they might try to be taking your freedom away from you. Most of the time, it can always be a simple act of jealousy that causes them to snoop into your business. You have to remember that this is your life partner; you do not need to say something that may jeopardize your relationship.

a man talking to another/How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business

Try to put on the brakes early. You might thank them for their concern but assure them that you have the situation well in hand. You might respond with, “You know, I appreciate your desire to help me. Make sure it does not seem like you are hiding anything. It is just that you want your space. It only takes one wrong move to destroy a more than a year-long relationship.

“I want to try it my way but, if I need help, I know just where to turn”

Is everyone trying to tell you how to run your home? How to arrange the furniture in your sitting area? Trying to get you to discipline your kids the way they teach theirs or how they have seen kids punished before? Telling you about how your spouse or fiancé is not good and you deserve better? Let us not ignore that they may mean well.

They may have experience of similar behavior with their fiancé or kids. Do not worry about pushing them away in just a few words. Some things are a matter of trial and error. You can just let them know that you are doing it in some other way. If your method does not work, you are going to try theirs.

Whenever anyone is going on about your life and your marriage life, remember it is your life, and no matter how people try to control your choices, you will end up with the mistakes. Make decisions that assure you that you will not regret it. Do not give them a chance to say something like I told you so. Give their words heed but also a boundary. They may try to control you without you knowing.

“I will Keep that in Mind”

Sometimes you might find yourself late for a life event like marriage or having kids in your life. It is not your fault. You might have even given up on it, but your family and friends will not let you be. They will keep reminding you about it at any gathering. A wedding or a funeral. Mostly Aunts have a way of saying it like “look at that young man/woman, and he/she is single.” Some of them might even suggest a good clinic doctor down the street. 

I will keep that in mind and tell them that yes, I heard, and I will think about it. It also hints that they are crossing a line over there. So I do not know what you are trying to say but stop, it is my life, and I make my own decisions.

I think that’s My Business, Don’t you?

Remember that making excuses is not a way to tell them off; it is just a way to encourage them to get into your business more. Gone are the days when you need to explain to everyone what you want to do, especially mothers in law. They are a big part of your life, and to welcome you; they need to know everything you do and how you run your relationships and, at times, control you. 

At times you have to tell them that it is not the ’60s anymore, and it is your business and not theirs. Prove to them you are stable enough, and they do not get into your issues to make you good enough. But always do it with a smile and a way to show them you are not trying to be rude in any way.

two women talking

Conclusion How to Tell Someone to Mind Their Own Business

Getting people to buzz off is painful and scary.  It could ruin your relationships or enable you to earn respect; it all depends on how you handle it. I am sure you are not planning to drive away everyone who cares about you. Here are some of the best ways to keep your relationships healthier by keeping it classically simple, straightforward, and respectful. With this, you save more than just time to explain yourself.

How to Stop Being a Recluse in a Healthy way

Most people find it daunting to transition from being a recluse to living a social life. If they do, they do it in an unhealthy way. The good news is that there are several techniques on how to stop being a recluse without causing any more trouble.

For one to be sequestered, there must be some cause or reasons. Among the reasons making people be cloistered include mystical religious outlook, hiding away as a result of criminal acts, survival by self-sufficiency, and personal philosophy. We are all social beings, and it may be challenging to be withdrawn from the rest.

a person sitting alone

In this article, we shall enlighten you on some of the healthy ways to stop being a recluse. Continue reading to find out more.

Identify the Reasons Why You Are a Recluse

There must be something that drove you to live a secluded life. The first step to stop being a recluse is to find out what made you the person you are. Some things make people seclude themselves from the world and society. 

If, for example, you are reclusive to avoid paying for a crime you committed, then it will be wrong to continue living that secluded life. If you are secluded because of religious reasons, then it will be hard to stop. Imagine you have been a hermit for years, and one day you just change the whole story? How will people view you? We are not saying you can’t stop being a hermit, but the process will be challenging.

Other causes of reclusion include posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, intellectual disability, autism, apathy, social anxiety disorder, and many more.

Find a Job in a Public Place

Working alone may be the leading cause of you being a hermit. What if you can work with others? Find any job that involves many people. You can’t work with people from morning to evening and expect to go home in the same way you came. 

Also, keep changing your working locations. You might find different experiences when working in different environments. You will get a chance to meet new people and exchange different ideas. You will see the need to be around people than being alone. 

Make Use of Technology

While it may be easy to be a recluse, it is hard to live without technology. Life will be difficult for you when you choose to be a recluse without any whereabouts of technology. Through technology, the world has been made a global village.

Even if you want to stay secluded from society and the public at large, you still need to be informed of what is happening in those environments. Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter are the best when it comes to living a reclusive life. With social media, you might find new people, new friends that aren’t from your society. You might organize a meeting with someone you met online. 

Spend SomeTime With Your Relatives

Relatives are the closest people that can quickly help you overcome the challenge of being a recluse. Find time for them. Speak to them more often. Have dinner together. Listen to their stories, even if you won’t utter a word. 

Slowly by slowly, you will find yourself taking part in their conversations.  You will love the idea of having dinner together rather than alone in your room. You will see how happy it feels to be around people.

Make Some Friends

Finding friends may be challenging, especially if you are an introvert, as well as a recluse. You may start by making friends from your relative’s friends. How is this possible? Let’s take an example of your cousin’s friend visiting him/her. You will have an opportunity to meet and interact with them. Exchange contacts, if necessary. 

Another alternative to making friends is through social media services. A true friend will never give you time to be a recluse. They are always checking on you, calling you, having those chats, going out, how will you seclude yourself from all these activities?

The idea here is to be in very close proximity to others. 

Relocate From Your Apartment

The reason you may be living a reclusive life maybe you don’t have close neighbors, or you hate your village people. Other than being alone and secluding yourself from those people, the best option may be to relocate and find a new home. 

You will have a chance to start a new life away from your past and your society. If you are a misanthrope and have difficulty tolerating human society, you might seek refuge at another place. 

Your new neighbors might be the solution to your problem. 

Identify and Explore Your Talents

Among the ways to make connections with people is by identifying your talents and exploring them. If you have a football talent, go out on the streets and find a football team. Join the group and start making friends. You will avoid being a hermit not because of the team but because of your talent. 

While exploring your talent, you will have a chance to meet very many people. Many will ask you to know your place so that they can visit you someday. Give them your address. Make your home know by many people.

If you are a talented musician, join a local music club. It will feel nervous, especially for the first time, but you will overcome it once you break your silence. You will love spending time with other people of different talents. You will learn more things from other people. You can’t explore your ability when you are a hermit. It is challenging to play and enjoy football on your own. You need some company. You need a team with similar interests as yours.

Control Your Emotions

Your emotions could be the leading cause of you being a recluse. If you don’t work on your emotions, you are likely to live a reclusive life forever. It is hard to live with human beings when you are too emotional. We all have feelings, but the difference is how you handle them. 

Immediately after triggering negative feelings, you are likely to make harsh decisions that may affect you for the rest of your life.  Some people decide to become reclusive because they have been wronged by someone from their family. They do not realize that they are the victims and are more affected.

If you learn to control your emotions, you will never find any other reason to be reclusive. Among the ways to control your emotions is to avoid reacting right away. Also, avoid the things that trigger your feelings. 

Avoid Online Shopping

Today you can make an order online, and it is delivered to you right at your doorstep. While it is helpful, it may encourage you to live a reclusive life. You won’t find time to go shopping at the supermarket or shops. This, however, does not mean you should avoid online shopping altogether. The point here is you should try to balance between online shopping and the use of brick and mortar shopping. 

Take a walk on the streets. Go for window shopping even if you do not have money to buy something.  Go and fit in those clothes before you decide to buy them. You are likely to interact with the salespersons while shopping for your products. You will see the need to live a social life with other people.

This is unlike online shopping, where you have little or no interaction with humans. It makes you think that you don’t need people.

Travel 

Traveling to places you’ve never gone to might help you to stop being a recluse. You will get to enjoy your experiences and meet a lot of people. You will learn to interact with people from different countries, even when you don’t speak the same language.

a man holding his head

Seek Professional Support

Overcoming psychological factors such as emotional trauma, autism, schizotypal personality disorder, among others, may be difficult for you. They might be the main reason why you are a recluse. If you don’t find a solution to these problems, you will remain to be a recluse forever.

Therapists are the best people to go to whenever you are faced with such challenges. They will make you remove all the pain and bitterness from your heart. They will give you advice on how to live with other people. They will make you see the importance of living a social life. They can read your mind and offer you the best solution.

How to Stop Being a Recluse in a Healthy way?

Living a reclusive life is very difficult and challenging. We all need each other for survival. That’s why we were created and placed on earth. Why conclude on living alone? Why cut all communications with people? Why seclude yourself from your society? Why become a recluse? 

If you are still a recluse, then you have no idea what you are missing. There are a lot of experiences out there that can only be enjoyed by someone living a social life. Stop being a hermit.

How to Tune Someone Out Without Losing Them

When you need a little space from someone, you might decide to tune them out temporarily. It is not easy, but at times you will need to learn how to tune someone out without losing them. You do not have to drive them entirely out of your life, but you can take specific measures to get some space. You must ensure that the person you are tuning out does not get the feeling that you need them to leave your life altogether. The following are ways you can use to tune an individual out but not lose them: 

two people fighting/how to tune someone out

Stop Calling and Texting

If you are used to calling and texting them often, you can start limiting the number of times you communicate with them. If you call them once a day, you can begin by reducing to one in two days and finally maybe once a week. You should not, however, ignore their calls entirely because this will suggest that you do not want to communicate altogether. When they get the hint that you are trying to avoid them, you might end up losing them. Avoid being mean to them and saying anything hurtful. It helps to be brief and polite when talking to them. 

If they are persistent in calling or texting you, you can try and block their numbers for a while. It is also easier to change your number and not give them your new cell phone details until you want to talk to them. Do not send them emails and avoid interacting with them on any social media platform.  

Talk Less to The Person

You do not have to talk to the person you are trying to tune out for long. Make your conversations with them as brief as you can and always stick to the essential things. You can call them only if you must and when you finish telling them why you called hung up the phone. Do not engage in any other unnecessary conversations. You will be able to keep your communications brief, and they might also get the hint that you need some space. It is, however, important that you keep from sounding rude when you are talking to them.

Male sure that you keep your distance when you are addressing the person you want to tune out by not making small talk. If you have to interact with them daily, like a neighbor or a colleague, you should try to avoid the places they frequent like break rooms. You can also defect personal conversations so that they do not get to know too much about your life.

Keep Distance

Most times, the person you are trying to tune out is someone you know well. You might know where they like hanging out and the places they frequent. If it a bar, you can try going to a different bar form the one they frequent. This way, you will not run into them and have to interact with them. If they are family members, you can avoid family gatherings for a while and also avoid hoisting any of them. In case you attend a meeting and run into them, you can make yourself busy talking to other people. 

 When they notice that you are having conversations with other people in a gathering, they will not interrupt. They mustn’t realize that you are ignoring them intentionally. Be smart enough to look like you are busy, and you did not get time to talk to them. This way, they will not feel like you are ignoring them. 

Keep yourself busy

Sometime when you are trying and eventually succeeding in getting a solution on how to tune someone out, that is the time you think about them the most. You might want to get yourself busy so that you can successfully tune them out. Trying getting a new hobby or whatever you can to keep you occupied. This way, you will be too busy to think about them until you are ready to let them back in your life.

Try to make new friends, and you will successfully tune out another person. Make sure that you do not engage in activities that will hurt you in the long run while trying to tune someone out. Read a book, go on a vacation, and catch up on that TV series you have always wanted to see and many more. There are so many activities that you can do to keep you busy and even entertained so that you can keep your mind occupied.

Focus on yourself

This is especially important if the person you are trying to tune out is toxic or a bad influence in one way or another. You can focus more on yourself and what will make you happy and choose something important to you. You can join a gym, do meditation and yoga to help you tune them out. It is not easy to tune a person out, especially if they were a significant part of your life. This process needs you to have a little self-will so that you can avoid the urge to call or visit them. 

By focusing on the things that make you happier or healthier, you will realize how important tuning them out is to you. This is because at times tuning someone out is crucial for your mental health. When you are trying to heal from something, you need some space and working on yourself first before you let other people in.

Do not talk about them

When you are getting to learn how to tune someone out, you should avoid talking about them to other people. This is because talking about them will keep them in your mind, and you will not be successful in tuning them out. If you are with a mutual friend, the conversation about them might come up. When this happens, you should deflect the conversation to something else.

Try as much as you can to talk about something else when you are faced with a situation that their names come up. If you cannot avoid talking about them, you can excuse yourself for a while and return when the conversation about them is over. Do not give your opinion about the topic or person when you cannot avoid people who are talking about them. Stick to people who are not mutual friends with the person you are trying to tune out. 

Unfollow Them

You do not need to know details about what is going on in the life of a person you are tuning out. Do not get curious about what they are doing so that you can focus on other things. Unfollowing an individual does not have to end with social media only. You can also avoid people who will update you on their activities. Whenever possible, you can also prevent social media pages of mutual friends so that you do not get to see their pictures.  

Most people like to update everything they do on social media pages. This is why you need to try to avoid the pages that the person is in. If you are in any group that they are actively involved in, you can consider leaving if they are not that important.

Tell Them You Need Space

Sometimes the most mature way you can deal with someone you are trying to tune out is being honest with them. However, it is essential that you be gentle and not hurt their feelings in the process. You can explain why you need them to give you a bit of space so that they do not feel like you are trying to avoid them. Ensure that the person you are talking to is mature enough to understand your reasons.

You can always have a buffer when you are talking to the individual. They can help you explain to them why you need to tune them out for a while and ensure that they understand you. Do not be rude, and do not use hurtful words when talking to them and ensure that you meet them in a calm and comfortable environment.

Keep any Physical Reminders Away

If you are trying to tune out someone very close to you, it is possible that you might have shared a lot and spent a lot of time together. It is, therefore, difficult to tune them out because so many things remind you of them. In case you have any physical evidence of your time together, it might help to keep them away for a while. Store away pictures, gifts, and anything that will remind you of them.

How to tune someone out

When you have finally succeeded in knowing how to tune someone out, you should try not to back down until you are ready. Remember to put your feelings first and focus on the reason why you must tune this person out. When you have your goals straight, then you will be successful. Make sure that you do not hurt other people in the process so that you will not lose them altogether.

How to Accept Defeat in Everyday Situations

It is difficult and tough to face Defeat or easy to accept that losing means we are failures. To admit Defeat, we should first affirm the situation. Smart people than you or I have noted some admirable quotes and extracts. Here is a piece of excellent advice from different people from history on how to Accept Defeat and even grow from your mistakes.

a disappointed man

Be Aware of Your Emotions 

First, you should think of what you have just experienced and understood how you are responding to that situation. If you are annoyed, ask yourself why. If you are dissatisfied, ask yourself what you expected to achieve. Before you control or accept your emotions, you must first understand and believe them.

  • Think of how it would feel if you would have won. Make a comparison between those two states and examine what will remain the same between the two results.
  • Speak to your close friend about your feelings. He/she will advise you, and you will be able to do what you need to do to phrase with the situation.

Validate Yourself 

Talk positive words to yourself and declare there is no way that you will feel wrong. No feeling is inalienably positive or negative. You should admit the fact that what you are feeling is acceptable.

  • Keep in mind that it is essential to hold emotions; sometimes, it may be unwise to follow some feelings such as anger to their logical ending.
  • You should think of at least one thing about yourself that makes you proud. It may be your strengths, how you have helped others, or what you have succeeded on. You should show gratitude to yourself instead of looking at the negativities.

Keeping of Perspectives

It may be difficult to prevent your Defeat. But it is possible to control the reaction towards it. Take a breath and be levelheaded as you can. Take action and remind yourself that it has already happened, and you cannot change it. This attitude will make you flexible and adaptable, which will help you to handle negativity in future.

  • Life goes on one defeat, and it may not be relevant in the strategy of things.

Developing Your Self-esteem

Remember, you just got defeated, which does not mean you are a failure. One way to handle such a fall is to heighten your self-esteem. Just think of it as a chance to bounce off back and come back as a more significant success. Just do not get hard on yourself, be cool about it. There are many opportunities out there are waiting for you to catch up to them and make them your very own.

  • Try to start again by following these tips whenever you get defeated and come out top next time you try again.
  •  Be innovative and look at the positive side when it comes to life.  
  • Accepting a lose gracefully and trying again always makes you feel fresh and makes you the bigger guy.

Never Give Up

Stick to the script of the game. Do not give up on the game just because you did not win. When you give up, it becomes a failure. Who wants to add that to the list? I would guess no one. Negligence is failing not to try. So, to stop these diseases of failure, remember why you started in the first place. Opportunities are just too many to end. 

  • Never close your eyes on your dreams. 
  • Keep on trying, and you have a million chances to try again. 
  • Whenever you feel like giving up, just remember what you have gone through to get where you are.

The Half Glass Theory

Defeat is bitter. No one wants it to be part of their life. We all always look at the glass as half empty rather than seeing it as half full. Whenever something does not go the way we want, we only see the dark side. We never look at the bright, and we do not try to be optimistic about that. It is just a chance to improve your skills, an opportunity to make another decision, and learn from your mistakes.  

  • Get your head straight.
  • Train yourself to see only the positive side.
  • Always look at the glass as half-filled instead of half empty.

Do Not Stick to the Blame Game

People always find it easy to blame someone for their Defeat. It makes them feel bitter about themselves. What they do not know is that they are only making excuses for not trying again. For not taking another chance. Losing something which you have set your heart and hard work on does not settle well with anyone. Most people take the way of blaming others rather than facing it because blaming is easy. You have got nothing to lose there, with blaming others just respect and trust. You will not take responsibility for your actions and always find everyone else and everything on the reason you lost.

  • Focus on the issue at hand, analyze and make sure you do not blame people for your mistake.
a man holding spectacles

Do Not take Defeat too Seriously 

Everything can be worse than how it already is. Consider that there is a silver lining that you have not seen. Try to find the joke in what has happened, and keep a wide smile on your face even though it is hard for you to force a real smile. You might find the situation funnier, smaller, or more awkward once you take a step back from your sulkiness.

  • Remember that there is always a silver lining
  • Be your clown and find the joke
  • Remember the  happy moments

Let the Idea of Defeat Slide Off

 When you lose, your feelings can get mixed up and mix up the way you see things. Do not keep on trying to figure out what happened or why it happened, and most of all, do not let Defeat, defeat you. You might feel your emotions mixing up with fury, disappointment, or resentment. Such feelings, in this case, will only make you feel worse about yourself.  

  • You can let go of all that and refuse to seek retaliation
  •  Accept that failure is a constant occurrence of life.

Agree that what you Did was Wrong

If you lost in an argument, you could improve your reputation by accepting that your methods are improper and that you agree fair and square. Consider saying sorry, recognizing your mistake, and showing how you have learned you were wrong. It is more shameful and childish to cling to what is wrong and refusing to admit that someone else is correct. 

Remember that human is to error and making mistakes is part of being human. It is part of our growth and a large part of what helps us to mature and to prove we are grown up. You will lose trustworthiness if you handle the situation in an immature way.  

  • If you respond calmly, the rest of the people and your competition will see that you can admit when you are wrong.

Learn from your Mistakes

If you can take Defeat as a way of learning rather than a way of failure, you can move on flawlessly with your life. You finish tall, reflect learning and move on with a smile on your face. If you conduct yourself, in the same way, any other time you lose, you will find it easier and more comfortable every time, and you may come to realize that you have won differently. 

  • Try to take it that failure is part of your long journey.
  • Ask yourself about why you failed and what you learn from it.
  • Think of why you failed, and whether you could have done anything about it.
  • Ask yourself whether you unintentionally forced yourself to fail because you still do not know the goal you are trying to reach.

Advance on your Errors

Relive on what happened, and look for lessons. Analyze the situation accurately. Figure out what you can really do to stop this from happening again and make it actionable. The more you focus on your next win, the better you may feel about your last defeat. Not all winners have won their first match. If you don’t accept Defeat gracefully, you will act rashly. People may notice if you don’t maturely handle your loss.

  • Focus on the future

Conclusion; How to Accept Defeat in Everyday Situations

Defeat in everyday life does not mean you are worthless. It just means that someone else was better prepared than you were. Be graceful about your disappointment, congratulate the winner on his success, and learn from him. So how will you prepare for the second round?

a disappointed man

Do not get it into your head that you failed to take it, that it is another opportunity to do better. Just like the bulb invention, the guy failed a couple of times to create the masterpiece. Maybe that failure is only a chance for better originality and better success. Defeat is not a failure; failure is believing and not doing anything about losing. 

How to Politely Decline a Gift That You Feel isn’t Appropriate

Did you know that not every gift you receive is genuine? Do not open all tips that come your way in open arms. First, make sure you understand the sender, the intentions of the sender, and the state of the gift. So many people have put their lives in danger after receiving tips from anonymous people.

giving a gift/How to Politely Decline a Gift

You have to put your desires and needs aside when receiving gifts. Consider what your consent tells you before you accept and open them. Make sure there is a witness to attest that the item was sent to you by an unknown person. Read on to find out How to Politely Decline a Gift.

Be Polite

Are you here wondering How to Politely Decline a Gift? Make sure that you do not show how you feel about the gift. Be polite and appreciate the present. Let the person know that you do not need that gift and that they should take it back. Many people love gifts, but you should know that some are there to destroy your life.

Even if the person insists on leaving the gift to you, tell them it is not your favorite, or you have a similar one. This way, the present will be taken back, and it will be the best way to save your life. Most enemies try to be sweet to administer an act of revenge indirectly.

Send Someone else to Return the Gift

Make sure that you handle the gift with care before returning it. Do not open it as long as you know who sent it to you. If you know the person is stubborn, you do not have to return it by yourself. Instead, look for a trustworthy friend who is brave enough to take back the gift successfully.

This is How to Politely Decline a Gift from your friend whom you recently broke up. Sending a friend will help you avoid the drama and chances of you falling in the trap again. There will be no chance to abuse or fight since you will be absent. People who refuse to move on with life after a breakup are not trustworthy.

They can set you a trap, to allow room for revenge to take place. Therefore, you need to be alert when dealing with gifts. Let the person know that you are okay without the presents.

Be Straightforward

This is the best way to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift. Do not sugarcoat the situation; instead, go directly to the point that the gift is not appropriate. Some competitors may want to put you down, especially if you do better than them.

Be aware that the gifts can either put you in trouble with the law or poison your life to death. Be vigilant as you handle such cases since most people have fallen in this trap. You may end up in prison, or they lose life mysteriously.

To avoid such scenarios, make sure that you speak out to a trustworthy friend about this issue. So, in case you get in trouble, you will have a witness to attest to your innocence. Tell the competitor that you cannot accept the gift since you have unsolved differences.

Use Evidence

Some organizations have strict rules concerning gifts. No one should offer presents except on special occasions such as Christmas. Will you compromise your job for the sake of a gift? You will learn How to Politely Decline a Gift at your workplace. 

Make sure that you have a copy of that rule to save yourself from trouble. Show it to the person offering the gift, and if they insist, you have no option but to report the matter. You have no idea what the intention of the award was.

This person may be eyeing your position. When you accept the gift, it will be clear evidence that can get a job loss or demotion.

You have a Similar Item

It is an excellent tactic on How to Politely Decline a Gift from someone you do not trust. You must not have that similar item to say no. Therefore, make sure that the person does not notice you just lied. An excellent example of that statement is “whoa! It looks exactly like the dress I wore yesterday; I wish it were different. Thank you so much, but I cannot keep it.”

The gift-giver will not need any other explanation since you cannot keep two similar dresses. The person will not notice that it was your tactic to avoid the gift. You, on the other hand, will not be left feeling guilty over the issue since you reacted positively.

opening a gift

You are Married

Some suitors ignore the fact that you have a ring on the finger. They insist on giving you gifts and taking you out to court you. Others want to destroy your relationship to prove that marriage is not good.

Therefore, when you get married, be sure that trouble has just begun. Make sure that you remain faithful to your partner despite the challenges you come along. You have to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift any time you come across them.

If you say no and the person insists, you need to go straight to the point that you are married. Also, state you cannot accept gifts from other suitors except the one you are married or engaged to. You will have to stay by your principles to avoid temptations since some presents are beautiful and irresistible.

Allergic

This is another fantastic idea on How to Politely Decline a Gift. Who argues in cases of a medical problem? I am sure nobody can dare force you to eat something you are allergic to. If you do not get well with someone, it is hard to trust their gifts no matter how sincere it may look.

Be very cautious and control your feelings, especially when it comes to foods and drinks. Some poisons have no scent or color. So, when foods and beverages are contaminated, it is challenging to determine.

Even if you are starving or you love the kind of food and drink in the gift box, you will have to control yourself. You can overcome this by saying, “thank you for the concern, but I am allergic to this drink or food.”

Do not add other explanations to avoid setting yourself up. Most people lose their lives so quickly if they do not control their emotions and feelings. If you do trust someone, make sure you avoid gifts and services from them altogether.

You do not take processed food

Note that it is just a way of saying no respectfully. You do not have to reveal all your truth so that people can understand you. Learn to be reserved, especially to strangers, and those people you do not get along too well.

You will be able to create a hard time when they plan to put you down. However, you will have to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift they offer you. In case they offer you processed food, you will politely tell them you do not take due to health reasons. Your diet must be specially made at home.

It is not your Type 

Telling someone, this is not my type is rude. So, you will have to frame your statement to look genuine. If someone offers you a car as a gift and you feel it is not appropriate, you will have to be creative. Maybe the car is far beyond your financial position; therefore, it will create suspicion among your friends and colleagues.

To avoid all this attention and embarrassment, you will have to learn How to Politely Decline a Gift. The gift-giver may also be someone senior at your workplace; therefore, it will be unethical to receive such a gift.

You will have to tell the giver the car is not your type and that you are okay with the kind of car you currently own. Insist that you also love simple vehicles with a different design and color. Additionally, remind the person that, according to the organizations, policies no worker should receive gifts if there is no occasion to support it.

Remain firm to your explanations to avoid falling into temptations. You will save your job position and reputation at work if you decline such an inappropriate gift.

showing off a gift

Conclusion How to Politely Decline a Gift

I believe all the above ways to decline a gift will help you. It is not always okay to rejoice when someone gifts you. Make sure you think beyond the beauty, quality, and the need that you have for that gift. Remember that not all that glitters is gold.

Also, when the deal is too good, think twice. I advise that you do not pick gifts from strangers or in places you feel insecure. Do the best you can to avoid getting trapped by your enemies in the name of gifts.

How to Deal with People who Put you Down Often

Did you know that you can survive positively among those who bully you? Yes, it is possible since you just need to ignore them and remain positive. There is nothing as humiliating as getting a silence when you expect an outburst. You should know that those who put you down have something positive they see in you, but they cannot have it.

a angry soldier

That is the reason they try to show you that they are better than you. Remain positive since you already know you are better than them. Read on to get to know How to Deal with People who Put You Down.

Ignore them

I know it is not easy, especially if you did not attack the person. Try and hold your anger by focusing on more positive things. Swallow the pain and continue with what you were doing. This person will just leave you alone, especially if you do not respond. It is the best way to Deal with People who Put you Down.

If you notice the person does not stop with the abuses and harsh words on, you just leave that area. It will save you from getting into trouble. Such people just want to play with your emotions and trigger anger in you. Remember, anger can lead you to commit a criminal offense such as murder, assault, among others that can make you spend the best years of your life in jail.

Change Friends

You may have fallen in a friendship cycle that does not appreciate you. So, every time you are around them, they have to put you down. It is a clear indication they do not want you around. End that friendship as fast as you realize what their intention is. I know it is not easy to find new friends, but for the sake of your peace of mind, just quit the relationship.

This is another recommendable way on How to Deal with those People who put you Down. After you drop such a friendship, you will realize that you have made so many improvements than before. It is because when you are put down, you perform poorly on your daily activities since you are always downcast.

Hang out with people who appreciate and uplift you to help you overcome the harsh words said to you. Avoid talking about the person who put you down as it will make you feel worse, slightly blush the thoughts away by doing something fun such a hobby, watch a movie, or anything else that will uplift your spirit.

Do not React Immediately

This is difficult, but first, focus on controlling your emotions by staying calm. Let some time pass before you address the issue, which will be easier to respond when you are relaxed. If it is your employer at work, you know very well that your outburst can cost your job. Therefore, face your employer later and explain to the person that some words used earlier are hurtful, and you do not like it.

Your employer reacts very calmly after you explain yourself since the person will be calm at the moment. You will realize that this is another excellent way on How to Deal with those People who put you Down. It is easy to receive an apology even if you were wrong since you did not talk back or react immediately.

Additionally, a deep breath will save you from an outburst. I advise that you move to the nearest window or door and take in some fresh air for about five minutes. You will realize that it feels much better than to start an endless argument.

Report the Matter to the Authorities

Before you report the case, I believe that you must have given chances for a long time. First of all, inform the person to stop the behavior as it makes you feel downcast. Also, talk to friends and coworkers to warn the person to stop. However, if the person does not stop, you need to report to your seniors if it is in the working environment.

This is another great way to Deal with those People who put you Down. The behavior can cost such a person their jobs since it is unethical. Make sure you have witnesses who will support your case. This will push the authorities to instill the necessary discipline on the culprit.

anger on phone

Try and Understand the Person

Do you know some siblings just want to make fun of you, make you angry, and laugh it off? The best solution on How to Deal with Those People who Put you Down is understanding them. When you show them that it does not affect you, they will not find fun in putting you down.

You can also talk to your sibling over some snack, and tell them that it is not good to make fun of others. Ask them what they would feel if someone else put them down. It is an excellent way to try and make them feel the pain others feel. You will realize that a calm talk over the best snack can change them to be better people.

Stand up for Yourself

You cannot always remain calm for people to put you down. Stand up and defend yourself immediately; someone starts putting you down. Look the person to the eye and tell them that you are very proud of yourself, your achievements, your position, your finances, and all that you have not accomplished.

Stand firm and make sure that your voice is also firm, and you will realize such people have no courage to talk back. This is one of the best ways on How to Deal with those People who put you Down.

Own your 50% Mistake

Before you defend yourself, try to remember if you did any offense to this person. If you indeed made this person feel down, you have to apologize first for that offense. Make the person understand that you did not mean it.

You would be able to learn How to Deal with those People who put you Down by looking back if you did any wrong to them. Your apology will save you from bullies and disrespect from colleagues and your neighbor’s.

Exit the Situation Quickly

Exiting does not mean you are a coward. It shows that you are courageous and mature enough to stay away from toxic people. Give your stern response to the person as you leave the room. It will not be of any gain if you spend the whole day in an argument with people who have insecurities in life.

Your exit will leave them wondering what to do next since their plan cannot work on you. This is a fantastic way to Deal with those People who put you Down. Additionally, your response will make such a person stop putting you down again.

Appreciate the Person

Not everyone who puts you down means to hurt you. You can attest that some of them speak the truth about you. That is why you have to tell such a person, “thank you for your concern, maybe you are right, I will look into it’’. This is one of the best ways on How to Deal with those People who put you Down.

Maybe it is your parent who wants to bring out the best in you. Do not think that they do not love you, but it is because they want to see you shape up when you are still young. Appreciate the concern in a positive way, work on it, and make them proud.

Additionally, make such a person feel essential for opening your eyes, and the person will not try that again. If the aim was to make you feel down because of the stated weakness, then it did not work. However, the person might be right so; you will surely have to work on that weakness.

Stay Away from Social Media

This is where most people develop stress, depression, and become suicidal. If you cannot cope with the pressure you get from social media feedback, you need to stay offline for some time. This is a great way to Deal with those People who put you Down.

The feedback comes in the form of messages and comments from people you barely know. Most of them are very harsh and do not care what you will feel. Make sure you keep yourself busy with other fun activities that will prevent you from developing stress and depression.

However, if you are a celebrity, you will have to employ a personal assistant who will run your account. This will keep you away from most of the negative feedback that puts you down. Also, learn to ignore the messages and feedback that negatively attack you since not everyone can love and appreciate you.

a happy girl/How to Deal with People who Put You Down

Conclusion; How to Deal with People who Put You Down

Not everyone you come across in life will love and appreciate you. So, learn to survive, ignore, and understand what people say about you. It is because we are all social beings with different opinions in life. I advise that you stay positive always. If you do better than them, they will never be happy. Keep doing the best you can.

How to Deal With a Clingy Friend in a Nice Way

A human being is known to be a social being. This is the reason why most people normally create friends wherever they go. This can be in their workplace, school and other social places where people mingle freely. Having a friend who can support you from time to time is always a good idea.

palm with stop sign

However, as much as you might need his or her support, there are instances when you might be short on time or energy to devote to the friendship. Such friends might want to be part of all your plans, show up in your house unannounced and even try to mimic the things you do. This clingy behavior can get annoying. As annoying as it can get, you would not want to hurt your friend’s feelings by calling them annoying. The following are ways on how to deal with a clingy friend nicely:

Take Longer to Respond to Their Messages and Phone Calls

Your clingy friend might have texted you severally in the recent past. Ideally, you should respond to these texts as soon as you get a chance to respond. You can either reply to the text that he or she sent you or just choose to call back later in the day. However, your clingy friend might feel as if you also desire to get the same attention that he or she is looking for when you reply to the texts immediately. Therefore, you should wait for a day or two and then reply to his or her texts. To avoid annoying your friend, you can show him or her that you were busy or you had forgotten your phone at home.

Introduce Them to New Friends and Situations

Your friend might be clingy to you because he does not have other friends with whom he can hang out with. Perhaps, you might be the only person who might be very close to them. If you want to deal with this friend nicely, you can introduce him to other friends out there. This will reduce the tendency of being clingy all the time. You can trust that he will get new friends and perhaps be able to freely interact with them. Introducing your clingy friend to new experiences might make him change his behavior. This is because his focus will be on the new experience or situation. Anything that makes him think less about you will go a long way in mitigating this behavior

Ask Him or Her to Meet You Out When Going Places Instead of Driving Together

You might be tempted to call your clingy friend and travel together so that you can chat as you drive to your desired destination. This could be a wedding or a burial ceremony. Calling your clingy friend to accompany you as you drive is not right. You should instead ask him to come using his means and perhaps meet you once he arrives at the venue. This will allow him to interact with other people as he heads to the venue. The good news is that this encourages your friend to do things on his own.

If you are going to watch a movie together, you can ask him to get to the movie early enough and then arrive later. He can even order tickets for both of you and then reserve a seat for you. This will go a long way in enabling them to be alone for quite some time before you arrive at the venue. Over time, your friend will have the confidence that he can do things on his own without solely relying on you.

Set Boundaries

Dealing with a clingy friend can be easier if you set boundaries. You should set boundaries about how much time together. Ideally, you might not be able to be there with your friend any time that he or she pleases. All you should do is to cut them out of your life without making them feel bad. Here, you will be seeking out a healthier balance. You should make your friend know when he or she is overstepping the line.

Tell him or her that you will not be able to respond to texts right away and that you might not able to be too available like you used to in the past. Do not be harsh as you express yourself as this might make him feel as if he has been offending him. You can tell him that you have appreciated every moment that you have spent together in the past and you are about to change the way you operate. This way, your friend will learn to be alone for quite some time.

friends conversing over drinks

Make Plans That Are Convenient For You

Do not let your friend spend more time in your house for many hours. For instance, on Saturday’s you can tell your friend that you will be going to the market to buy a few household items so you will not have ample time to watch a movie together. You can insist on leaving together as you leave for the market. You can even fake a reason that makes you stay apart for a while. Your plans should seem to favor you only. This will make your friend have some time alone and perhaps reflect on his life.

Unfollow Them on Social Media

You might be fond of commenting on your friend’s posts on social media platforms such as Facebook simply because you get notifications on your phone. Commenting on his or her social media platform shows her that you are interested in him or her. You can unfollow her on these platforms such that you will not be able to see whenever your friend posts anything on these platforms. Also, this means that you will not be tempted to check on your friend now and then. You should do this secretly such that your friend will not know. This way, you will be able to distance away from your friend in a nice way.

Be Honest and Say No

Your clingy friend might want you to hang out together during the weekend. If you had other plans that weekend, you should tell him or her that you will not be available for him or her. For instance, if you had planned to visit your parents on that weekend, you can tell him this and promise that you will try hanging out next weekend. Being honest will make your friend know that you are not hiding anything or him or her. Sometimes, if you feel that you want to spend time with your lover, you can tell your clingy friend so without hiding anything from him. Saying no to some requests have worked well for many people out there.

Don’t Ask for Their Help in a Situation and Reject It If They Offer It to You

Chances are that you might have asked your clingy friend for a favor sometime back. If you have ever done so, you should do that anymore. You should find a solution to your issues without involving him or her. Perhaps, this could be one of the reasons why he or she is clingy to you. You can instead ask a reliable friend for help. Remember that the more you depend on your space-invading friend for help, the more they will think that it is normal to cling on to you. Therefore, you should put a stop to all this by not showing them that they are indispensable for you.

Don’t Show Interest in Their Personal Life

Your clingy friend might have the tendency to pour his heart to you from time to time. He might be the type that seeks advice, sympathy or attention now and them. Chances are that you had invested yourself emotionally and helped them in the past. However, this might be cumbersome for you in the long run. Therefore, you should stop showing signs that you are interested in helping him deal with his issues. For instance, if your clingy friend comes for advice from you, you can tell him that the issue is beyond you politely. You can recommend that he seeks helps from a professional and so on.

Stop Initiating a Conversation with Him or Her All the Time

Starting to talk to your clingy friend might make him feel special in a certain way. This should be the reason why he or she is still clingy on you. If you feel that you need to talk to someone during your free time, you can choose someone else. Better still, you can choose to do something else to occupy yourself. The good news is that if you fail to talk to him first, your friend will not talk to you and this will make him less clingy at some point.

an angry toddler

How to Deal With a Clingy Friend

Clingy friends can make you feel emotionally exhausted. This could make you desire to spend less time with them. Sometimes, you might get so frustrated to the extent of wanting to abruptly end the friendship. However, this should not be the case. Your clingy friend can still be your friend by considering the above-mentioned ideas. Consider these ideas on how to deal with a clingy friend nicely and you will not regret. These ideas are truly incredible.

How to Tell if Someone is Projecting onto You: 3 Key Signs

Psychological projection is a mechanism or defense technique that most people subconsciously use to deal with emotions or bad feelings. It involves projecting difficult or undesirable feelings onto another person, instead of admitting or dealing with such feelings. A classic example of psychological projection is when you hate on a person only to realize that they had a vendetta against you. Luckily, there are tons of ways of how to tell if someone is projecting onto you and put an end to such a coping mechanism.

how to tell if someone is projecting onto you

Psychological Projection Explained

This theory was coined by Sigmund Fred, the famous psychologist from Australia who is commonly known as the “father of psychoanalysis”. As such, when a person projects onto you, we can say that they are doing “Freudian projection” or “psychological projection”. When he was having sessions with his patients, Sigmund realized that some patients would often accuse other people, say their spouses, of feelings that they were exhibiting.

Another classic example of projection is when a woman who has been consistently unfaithful to her husband accuses the husband of cheating on her. Or when a person who can’t resist the urge to steal things proceeds to project those feelings onto other people. It’s not uncommon to find a hardcore thief fearing that her luggage is going to be stolen or that they’re going to be shortchanged when they buy something.

Oftentimes, projection is not necessarily dramatic or even identifiable. One instance of projection that we can all relate to is when we come across people we don’t like but then we have to interact with them on a polite level. For example, Jane resents her sister-in-law for being overly close to her husband. Jane knows that she has to act nice to her sister-in-law, for the sake of her husband.

After some time, Jane starts to notice that her sister-in-law doesn’t like her either. So much that whenever there’s a family gathering, there’s tension between Jane and her sister-in-law, where they both feel (albeit subconsciously), that either of them is being snippy, especially when Jane’s husband is around. As you can see, both Jane and her sister-in-law have projected their feelings of resentment onto each other.

There are many reasons why we project, but the most common ones are denial, distortion, passive aggression, repression, sublimation, dissociation, and such jokes.

Now, on to how to tell if someone is projecting onto you. We are going to look at three key signs that you can’t afford to ignore. Read on.

Signs That Someone is Projecting onto You

Selective Hearing

When you talk to them, they choose what to hear and what not to hear. They’ll take pieces and bits of your words and distorts the original meanings to form something different, at least to fit what they’re used to hearing.

If you are the pretty chill types, they might still perceive you as the high-maintenance types because those are the kinds of people they’re used to. For example, regardless of the number of times you say that you are feeling fine, a person who’s projecting onto you will still insist that you are not fine. Do you get the idea?

They See You as an Amalgamation of Their Past

This is especially true for modern couples, whereby a partner thinks that all members of the opposite sex are all the same. Let us talk in simpler terms, can we? Well, first of all, every one of us has their unique abilities that define our true selves, right?

people talking over drinks

If your partner is projecting their past relationships onto you, they don’t see you as a unique person with different and unique qualities. Instead, they see you as a pure amalgamation of every other person they’ve dated previously.

After that, they have gotten into the behavior of generalizing everything and everyone. You will hear them say that “all men are the same” or “all girls are jealous”. They create their interpretation of you in their minds that is different from who you feel you are. Worse still, they proceed to use the interpretations and assumptions they have of you and acts on them.

Treating All Arguments in the Same Way

Anytime you argue with them, you realize that they default to the same reaction for every argument, automatically. Maybe they could just shut down immediately or they can start assuming that they know exactly what you are going to say. Whatever the argument is, they have decided that they already know the outcome because they have already argued with many other people in the past.

However, we are different and that’s why we all treat disagreements and arguments differently. Instead of yelling or getting vindictive, you can choose to be a reasonable person who wants to arrest a situation calmly. Unfortunately, this won’t matter a lot because they already have a presumption that you’re a crazy fellow, which is just but one sign that they’re projecting onto you.

Other Ways of How to Tell if Someone is Projecting onto You

They Expect a Repetition of History

While they are interested in you or even have fallen in love with you, they still hold on to the belief that this relationship will eventually be like their past engagements. They seem to have unresolved issues with their exes, and that stuff is bleeding through to this relationship. If they were cheated on before ending their past relationship, you will realize that they’re exhibiting insecurities about the possibility of you cheating on them, when in reality, that is something you can only dream of.

Overreacting

If they have been particularly hurt or traumatized by other people, for example, their previous partner, they are likely to overreact in case you say something that hits that nerve. In psychology circles, that is referred to as “triggers”. In simpler terms, it’s a natural human reaction by humans, which can potentially ruin relationships in record time. You can help them deal with this reaction and avert the risk of it happening again, but then again, you may not be able to help them through.

They Keep Talking About Their Exes

Naturally, it does not harm talking about your past relationships. It’s even healthy to talk about your exes, but up to a certain level, that is. You see, it helps to understand where you and your significant other have come from, right? This way, you get a chance to clearly understand what other people have experienced in the past, so that you may be able to treat them even better.

But then, your conversations with them shouldn’t have to revolve around their exes all the time. If you realize that they keep referencing their exes a bit too often, then that means that there’s something about their past engagements that they are preoccupied with.

They Have Put Up a Wall

The best part of a relationship should be the feeling of being their closest friends, right? That means that there should be open lines of communication. At times, however, partners will allow each other to draw closer to each other, regardless of the months, they have spent together or how often they sleep together.

If you sense that they’re somewhat emotionally hard to reach, it means that they’re either emotionally detached or that they aren’t willing to let you into a certain point in their heart. Truth be told, all of us have some sorts of walls inside our hearts, but the most important thing is what we decide to do with those walls. If they are not into helping you to tear down their walls, be sure that they will without a doubt be going to project their past onto you.

Negativity

We can’t afford to omit negativity and insecurities from the list if how to tell if someone is projecting onto you. 

Insecurities in relationships manifest themselves in the form of negativity. Things will be fine until a point when they get overly mad about everything on earth. You end up taking the blame for things you know nothing about. Other times, you find negative vibes thrown your way despite you having positive energy and good intentions that can benefit your relationship. If this happens more often, then you should start getting worried because it may end up creating unhealthy situations for you and your engagement.

They Offend You Because They Care

At times, they say things that put you down and then go ahead to “suggest” a variety of ways you can use to “change”. If this rings true for you, note that you can’t stop them from projecting onto you, so have them work on themselves first.

They Feel That They Want to Be Alone

Sometimes, they will begin to feel that they don’t deserve you, maybe because they are traumatized by their childhood abuse or harassment. This may have impacted their feeling for self-worth or self-esteem, which makes them feel that they don’t need to be with you, for no present reason. If they are feeling unworthy of your love, sit them down and try to figure out where that problem could be emanating from.

two women talking

Now, there you have a hint of how to tell if someone is projecting onto you. Of course, if you can’t rebuild what is broken, then it’s important to walk away. Call it quits right and then when you feel that someone is continually breaching your trust. 

How to Forgive When You Don’t Feel Like It

We all experience disagreements at some point in life when interacting with various people. No one is perfect in this world. When someone wrongs us, we cling to our resentment and bitterness rather than letting go by merely forgiving.  However, for you to overcome all this and live a good life with humans, you must learn how to forgive when you don’t feel like it.

two people hugging

 Some people find it easy to forgive while others take time before they forgive. It takes wisdom and self-control to forgive someone, especially if he/she has hurt you the most in an unexpected way. There is a need for people to be taught how to forgive, even when it is hard for them. Even God, through His word in the Bible, commands us to forgive one another.

In this article, we shall give you useful tips on how to forgive when you don’t feel like it. Let’s find out more.

Get to the Root of Your Pain

Acknowledging the reality of what happened that led to your resentment and bitterness is the first step to forgiveness. People tend to jump into conclusions without having explicit knowledge of where their anger resulted from. Accept that you were affected in one way or another.

Figure out why the other person did what he/she did and with what purpose. Find out if he/she meant to hurt you or whether it was a mistake. Determine the impact that will come as a result of withholding your forgiveness.

Start by Forgiving Yourself

It all starts with you. You must learn how to forgive yourself before extending the same hand to others. You aren’t the cause of anger and resentfulness. You will only do this after acknowledging your emotions. Find out how you feel about the hurt. 

After forgiving yourself, you can quickly get rid of your anger and grief.

Express Your Anger or Feeling

It is better to share your emotions with someone rather than keeping it to yourself. Most of the people who don’t show their anger and bitterness do not forgive easily. Talk to someone, maybe a close friend, who understands you. Speak out and let the pain get out of your chest. 

There will be nothing to hold on to after speaking to someone. You will realize how important it is to forgive and let go. You might also get some advice from real-time experience, which could make you have a heart of forgiveness. 

Think of the Other Person Who Wronged You

Before someone wrongs you, there must be a relationship or something you shared. He or she might be your friend, family, spouse, or a workmate. Put yourself in the person’s shoes. Think of the good qualities of the other person.  Try assuming that their intention wasn’t to hurt you. Focus on the positives rather than the negatives. Determine the relationship and the bond you share. Is it worth losing such a person by not forgiving? 

The only time to cultivate empathy is when you don’t have many emotions and feelings. Focus only on the good deeds, and you may find a reason to forgive the person. Some people, no matter how much they wrong you, deserve your forgiveness. What if the person was only trying to protect you but ended up hurting you? The process of forgiveness will be effortless after you cultivate empathy.

It is tough to replace someone in your life, especially if he/she is your life partner. Also, some people in your life can never be replaced, for example, your parents. You need to realize that if you keep holding grudges and bitterness, it will be hard to cultivate relationships with those around you.  You have to look at things from different perspectives, not just yours.

Forget About the Problem for a Moment

Your primary focus should be on how to forgive and not how someone wronged you. Most of us overthink the problem. This gives as very little time to think of how we can forgive and move on with our life. Even if you were hurt deeply, you have to let some of the anger go. 

One of the easiest ways to forget is to be positive. When you overthink about the negative side of the problem, you have the urge to fight back with similar actions. Revenge is not the best way to deal with anger. It might cause more harm than good to you. We are always told, even in the Holy books, to repay evil with good and not evil with evil. 

What if the person has done more good than the evil to you? What if this was the only thing he/she did that hurt you? What if he/she has always been a good person and has always been there for you? These are the questions that should be running in your head and not the wrong that makes you bitter.

Sometimes it might be challenging to forget about such painful actions. However, you will realize how worthy it is to forget some things in your life and forgive.

Decide on Whether to Share It With the Person or Not

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you must tell the other person about it. It is about you. Do you know you can forgive someone and not talk to him/her? 

While most people hold their forgiveness because of the other person, they are the ones who get hurt the most. How sure are you that the other person feels the same as you? Do they want to be forgiven? Do they deserve forgiveness?

When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean the person will continue being part of your life. You might forgive someone and still cut off all the relationships and the bond you had with each other. Forgiveness is merely trying to make your life better and happier.  People who easily forgive and forget always have a happy life. On the other hand, those who don’t have the heart to forgive spend the rest of their life thinking of how they were hurt and how they can repay. 

Also, when you forgive, it doesn’t mean you will forget about everything. However, even if you remember all the bad memories, your heart will be at peace, knowing that you took some action on the matter. 

If you wish to develop a relationship with the person who wronged you, or if you cannot do without them, you should let them know about your forgiveness. However, if the hurt was very intense that you wish to cut off the person from your life, you shouldn’t bother telling him/her. 

Reach out to the Other Person

Lack of communication is the leading cause of most of the disagreements we face. You will never know what the other person is thinking unless you reach out to them and have a chat together. It will be hard to talk to the person, especially during such moments, but you have to make an effort.

Whether the person responds positively or negatively does not matter, you will have played your part. Also, having a chat with the person who wronged you might help you determine if the person deserves your forgiveness or not. 

Look into their eyes and ask them why they did hurt you. It is difficult to lie when you are in eye contact with them. But of course, there are those that lying is in their blood. 

a man an woman kissing

For couples, the best way to forgive is to talk to one another. When you maintain eye contact with each other, you create a bond. You forget about the bad things and start thinking about the good things. You recall the good memories that you’ve all shared.  You can easily crack jokes and start laughing together. Believe it or not, once you leave that room, there will be no anger and resentment left inside you but happiness.

Seek Help If Necessary

As we all know, it isn’t that easy to forgive someone without any help. This is where there is a need for a third party, more so, if the problem is capable of causing emotional trauma. Even after applying the above tips, you may find yourself not wanting to forgive.  It is at this point that professional assistance is inevitable. Therapists are the best people to go to for any help. 

Not only will the therapist help you work through your feelings, but also, will support you personally through the whole process. The therapist will give you essential tips and guidance on how to let go off the past and focus on the present.  They have the skills and experience necessary to help you throughout this tough moment.

How to Forgive When You Don’t Feel Like It

We should all learn to forgive each for a better life and future. Forgiveness is not about others; it is about us. We should use every possible means to find a solution to any problem. For if we do not forgive, we won’t forget, hence, we won’t live peacefully. We need to realize that sometimes holding on too much to something, does much harm to us, other than letting go. Let us embrace the art of forgiveness.

How to Make Peace with Your Past in a Healthy Way

If you are looking to how to make peace with your past, you are not alone. Many people have let the past hold them captive in one way or another. This is because they let the past determine any choice or decision they make in the present. So many people are not living their lives fully because they are afraid of repeating past mistakes.

the word peace in pink

When you let the past define your choices today, you will not enjoy the life you have, and you might not notice the pleasant experience you might have now. You might not let the past go, but you can make a decision not to let it define you today. The following are how to make peace with your past:

Forgive

If there are any mistakes you made in your past, you need to forgive yourself. You must realize that forgiveness is one of the initial steps you must take to try and ultimately heal from the past. This does not only apply to yourself, but you must also forgive others.

Anyone who you feel that they did you wrong, no matter how bad it was, whether they ask for this forgiveness or they do not. You can visit them and tell them that they did you wrong and you forgive them nonetheless. Remember to do this even if the person is no longer alive, whether it is a parent, sibling friend, mentor, role model, teacher, or anyone else.

You might get advice from many people to forgive and forget the past. It is not easy or sometimes possible to forget about history, but you can choose to forgive. There are times when one has done wrong, and it continues to hurt each time they think about it. When you do not forgive yourself or others, you will not heal from it. Learn to make peace with what has happened and ask for forgiveness or forgive those in the wrong.

Acceptance 

You need to accept that anything you did in the past or when you were younger will forever be a part of you. With the knowledge that you can never run away from your past, you can take steps to recover from it no matter how bad it was.

Some of the things might be too painful to remember, but by accepting them, you will be able to take steps to make peace. Take your time and figure out what happened and agree that you will not change anything about it. This way, you can finally accept the past and let it go. This is because the past sometimes leaves people with permanent scars. 

Many people hold on to experiences from their childhood or youth, and it keeps them from growing and becoming better people in the present. Most time, these experiences are unavoidable and were not their fault. By accepting that you cannot do anything to change what happened in your past, you can finally face a positive future.

Find Something Good about the Past Experience

No matter how tiny or small it might be, you need to ask yourself and find out any good that came out of the traumatic experience you had. What lessons did you learn and what would you have done to change it. If you have kids, you can use this to teach them about past mistakes.

If the past was not your fault and you feel that other people should be held responsible, then you can use this as a basis to treat other people better. If you were abused as a child, you could use this horrible experience to assist any other child that is going through the same ordeal

There is always a silver lining, and some pasts are what shape people to become what they are in the present. Make a positive change from the lessons you learn and ensure that you do not repeat the same mistakes. For example, if your father was an alcoholic, you do not have to use it as a crutch, but you can learn from this and build a better present and future for you and your family. 

how to make peace with your past

Make a Change

It is vital to use the past to change the present and the future. Just because someone in your past did something wrong does not mean that you should do the same. If your parents were not acting the way you would like, this is an opportunity to make a change and become a better parent. Teach your kids what your parents never taught you and treat other people the way you wanted to be treated.  Whatever you decide to do, do not let the past define who you are.

Convince yourself that you are a much improved individual. You might ask yourself how to make peace with your past in a healthy way, but not many will apply measures to make this happen. You need to ensure that you take a firm stand to change the present or the past will always haunt you. Do not let the past contribute to any decision you make today.

Seek Help

When you have tried everything, and nothing seems to work, it is time to seek help. Help can be from a professional counselor or a mentor or even the church if you are a believer. Most people recognize that there is a higher power, so this might be the time to seek help if you need it. Do not be afraid of looking for someone to help you get over past pain or mistakes. You must realize that many people have gone through similar ordeals or even worse.  

If you share your past experiences with others, you will be able to get the worst feelings off your chest. You can find a support group of people with similar cases and share them with others. Sharing will help you heal and get over anything that you have gone through. Do not isolate yourself because you will not get the help you so need when you are all alone. Get yourself some company and try to work through your issues.

Let Go of Negativity

Sometimes the only way you can learn how to make peace with your past is by letting go. It means that you need to try and let the past go so that it does not influence you in the future. It also means letting go of past friends and acquaintances who have a significant impact on what you went through during that time. If you need to move from a town or a state that reminds you of your painful past. Move elsewhere even if it is just for a while.  

Hold on to the present so that you can let go of the past quickly. Do not be afraid of moving to a new hose and starting all over again or burning up photos or even giving away clothes. Get rid of anything that will continuously remind you of your pain and make a better future for yourself and others around you. It is surprisingly easy to make new friends, and you might appreciate the new positive people. When you are healing from the past, you will not need anyone or anything to remind you of it, so let them go.

Meditate 

You can practice meditation and breathing so that you can forget about the past. Many people become angry and volatile because of their history, and it affects everyone around them. When you realize that you get angry quickly, you might want to take a minute and breathe so that you do not overreact about issues. Enroll yourself to a yoga class and find peace or learn to breathe when you need to. Learn a few meditation exercises so that you can do them at home too. 

Meditation is not only good for your healing process, but it is also great for your body. You can also do a few exercises to help you, and this will also keep you busy. When you take care of your body, your mind will also be healthier. Make time to meditate every day for a few minutes, and this will improve your moods.

Focus on Your Future

The healthiest step you can take to make peace with your past is to focus on what is coming ahead. Whether it is a new family, a kid, a new job, or even an original career path, you need to direct your attention to your future. You must believe that the past is gone and there is nothing you can do to change it. Stressing over what has happened is not healthy, and it will hinder you from becoming better in the future. Focus on your plans so that you can grow and get over the past.

A woman showing peace of peace
For many people, the past is not very easy to get over, but if you try hard enough, you will know how to make peace with your past in a healthy way. You will be able to face your present and your future positively, and you will not hurt the people you love.